There are many important elements to being a parent. A lot of people don't have fathers but they might have someone in their life who's a good male influence and support. There's no cookie-cutter way of raising children and no family is the same, but the most important thing is that children are loved, supported and cared for, whether it's coming from a relative or a friend or a grandfather or a good school teacher. Anyone. Children just need good examples and mentoring to teach them and show them how to do things.
My family dynamic is quite eccentric. I have two fathers. I think it depends on the relationship between the child and the parents, but definitely, when it comes to being a stepparent or a coparent, it's a different relationship. There's just as much love, but the bonds can be different. It depends when you come into their life and how well you know them - this dynamic takes a lot of patience and love.
Children are all unique, so when you're blending families it's really important to get to know each individual child... Being a stepparent can be a really incredible opportunity. Sometimes children pay attention and listen to someone who's not their blood parent. Sometimes I notice how my son Milo learns things from my best friends and people that have been around him, his grandparents and so on, in a way he can't from his own mum and dad. It takes a village!
We put so much pressure on ourselves as parents to be able to do everything, but children are very grateful and understanding. I always find that quality time, even if you just get a little bit, really has a deep impact. But you also need them to know that they can make mistakes, and if they do make a mistake it's OK for them to tell you and that they'll get a second chance.
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