William Shakespeare Funny Quotes

• The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

• Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Women, Thinking

  'As You Like It' (1599) act 3, sc. 2, l. [265]

• Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Sexy, Lying

  William Shakespeare (2006). “The Poems: Venus and Adonis, The Rape of Lucrece, The Phoenix and the Turtle, The Passionate Pilgrim, A Lover's Complaint”, p.100, Cambridge University Press

• Were kisses all the joys in bed,
  One woman would another wed.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Witty, Sex

  William Shakespeare (1841). “The Poems of Willm Shakspere”, p.142

• The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Inspiration, Law

  'Henry VI, Part 2' (1592) act 4, sc. 2, l. [73]

• Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Depression, Husband

  'The Tempest' (1611) act 2, sc. 2, l. [42]

• As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Life, Ambition

  'Julius Caesar' (1599) act 3, sc. 2, l. [27]

• Farewell, fair cruelty.

  William Shakespeare

  Inspirational, Funny, Farewell

  William Shakespeare, George Steevens (1824). “The Dramatic Works of William Shakespeare”, p.78

• Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Life, Men

  'King John' (1591-8) act 3, sc. 4, l. 108

• He took the bride about the neck and kissed her lips with such a clamorous smack that at the parting all the church did echo.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Kissing, Echoes

  1593 Gremio, of Petruccio.TheTaming of the Shrew, act 3, sc.3, l.50-2.

• Frailty, thy name is woman!

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Memorable, Sassy

  'Hamlet' (1601) act 1, sc. 2, l. 129

• It comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him.

  William Shakespeare

  Funny, Humorous, Giving

  1601 SirToby to SirAndrew.Twelfth Night, act 3, sc.4, l.176-8.

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