S. J. Perelman Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Beautiful, Girl

  1944 Crazy Like a Fox,'Captain Future, BlockThat Kick'.

• I cannot recall a more engaging passage in fiction, and I've been trying for almost eighteen seconds.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Humor, Criticism

• FREEDLEY: Will I feel better after I take it? DR. FITCH (coldly): I, am a physician, Freedley, not an astrologer. If you want a horoscope, there's a gypsy tearoom over on Lexington Avenue.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Humor, Feel Better

• Do you know anything at all that nobody else knows or, for that matter, gives a damn about? If you do, then sit tight, because one of these days you're going to Hollywood as a technical supervisor on a million dollar movie.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, California, Giving

• "In France," Marcel said with wintry dignity, "accidents occur in the bedroom, not the kitchen."

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Kitchen, France

• Nature, it appears, has been rather more bountiful to Paul's body and purse than to his intellect; above the ears, speaking bluntly, the boy is strictly tapioca.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Humor, Boys

• We old roosters must be cautious. Don't try to outwit your arteries.

  S. J. Perelman

  Funny, Humorous, Age

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