George Mikes Quotes - Page 3

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• If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Gay

  7 Copy quote

• In England the boy pats his adored one on the back and says softly, "I don't object, you know." If he is quite mad with passion, he may add: "I rather fancy you, in fact.

  George Mikes

  Passion, Boys, Mad

  6 Copy quote

• They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a national language, entirely their own, unlike any other language spoken on the earth.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Baseball, Strong

  George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”

  4 Copy quote

• It is great fun dying in the United States of America. It is great fun first of all for the undertakers who make a wonderful living out of it but also for the deceased who suddenly becomes the centre of attention and fuss.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, America

  George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”

  4 Copy quote

• I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got lost in transit to Israel.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Book

  George Mikes (1969). “Coat of Many Colors: Israel”

  8 Copy quote

• A foreign observer is struck by our gentleness: by the orderly behaviour of the English crowds, the lack of pushing and quarrelling, the willingness to form queues.

  George Mikes

  Behaviour, Crowds, Pushing

  10 Copy quote

• A couple from Sydney or Melbourne might leave on the same day for their holiday: the wife might go sun-bathing at Surfers Paradise, in Queensland, the husband ski-ing in the Snowy Mountains. A lucky country.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Country, Couple

  7 Copy quote

• What beefsteak is to Argentina, flamenco to Spain, cool reserve and self-control in all situations to an Englishman, what vodka is to a Russian and beer to a Bavarian, what money is to a Swiss, that is outdoor-life to an Australian. It is a noble mania, better than vodka, better than cool reserve, better than money.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humor, Beer

  9 Copy quote

• On the Continent stray cats are judged individually on their merit-some are loved, some are only respected; in England they are universally worshipped as in ancient Egypt.

  George Mikes

  Cat, Egypt, England

  4 Copy quote

• The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, America

  George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”

  7 Copy quote

• Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Israel

  George Mikes (1969). “The Prophet Motive: Israel Today and Tomorrow”

  7 Copy quote

• Although the rudiments of snobbery are there, its finer developments are basically alien to the Australian soul - that is, if Australians have a soul; many people believe that they are too matter-of-fact and down-to-earth to have such fancy commodities.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Believe, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Once you start buying first aid kits you start having accidents.

  George Mikes

  Preparation, Buying, Firsts

  4 Copy quote

• Australians are decent people with the right instincts and they wish everybody well; but if all is not well, it is none of their business and they will not lose too much sleep over it. The shrug of the shoulders has become - only temporarily, I daresay - the national gesture of Australia.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humor, Sleep

  7 Copy quote

• Prices in Italy are only slightly lower than in France, which means that Italy is a very expensive country for everyone, natives, visitors and tourists.

  George Mikes

  Country, Mean, Tourists

  4 Copy quote

• Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Airports

  George Mikes (1969). “Coat of Many Colors: Israel”

  8 Copy quote

• Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Teaching

  George Mikes (1969). “Coat of Many Colors: Israel”

  7 Copy quote

• Bargaining is a repulsive habit; compromise is one of the highest human virtues - the difference between the two being that the first is practised on the Continent, the latter in Great Britain.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Two

  George Mikes (1986). “How to be a Brit: The Classic Bestselling Guide”, p.50, Penguin UK

  4 Copy quote

• A great deal of the pupils time was spent going through, once again, the History of the Communist (Bolshevik) Party of the Soviet Union. He had learnt it at elementary school; at secondary school; at his sports club; at the Komsomol; at the university; at a folk dancing course; at the chess-club.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Sports, Humorous

  4 Copy quote

• The country has always been governed by a coalition but today it is governed by a so-called Grand Coalition which is a more polite word for all and sundry.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Country, Humorous

  George Mikes (1969). “The Prophet Motive: Israel Today and Tomorrow”

  7 Copy quote

• Japan is, you often feel, an improved version of the United States.

  George Mikes

  Funny, Humorous, Japan

  George Mikes (1970). “The land of the rising yen: Japan”, Harvard Common Press

  4 Copy quote

• Remember that those five hundred words an average Englishman uses are far from being the whole vocabulary of the language. You may learn another five hundred and another five thousand and yet another fifty thousand and still you may come across a further fifty thousand you have never heard of before, and nobody else either.

  George Mikes

  Vocabulary, Average, Use

  4 Copy quote

• Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow.

  George Mikes

  Funny, New York, Humorous

  George Mikes (1959). “How to scrape skies: the United States explored, rediscovered and explained”

  7 Copy quote

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