I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there.
Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.
If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.
A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.
Bing Crosby and I weren't the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other. One of our stock lines used to be "There's nothing I wouldn't do for Bing, and there's nothing he wouldn't do for me." And that's the way we go through life - doing nothing for each other!
Television is the box they buried entertainment in.
I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.
Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.
If I'm on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.
The place was so British, I wouldn't have been surprised if the mice wore monocles.
Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie. By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
I've got to watch myself these days. It's too exciting watching anyone else.
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
You know, marriage is making a big comeback. I know personally that in Hollywood people are marrying people they never married before.
A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table.
The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it.
Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy.
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don't know which end to talk to.
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.
I like to come to Washington, D.C., at least once a year. Why should my tax money travel more than I do?
Take nine strokes off your score. Skip the last hole.
We had a very successful trip to Russia. We made it back.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: