Tasers Quotes

• I'm a professional at what I do. As a police officer you're a professional at what you're supposed to do. You should know your equipment well. You should know the difference between a taser and a handgun.

  Michael B. Jordan

  Differences, Police, Should

  Source: www.chicagotribune.com

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• Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

  Darynda Jones

  Feet, People, Killing

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• I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. "If you resist," I said into Reyes's ear, "I'll be forced to Taser you." He looked at what I had in my hand. "That's a phone." "I have an app. You'll probably experience nerve damage. Slight memory loss.

  Darynda Jones

  Memories, Powerful, Loss

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• Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!

  George Lopez

  Funny, Mom, Humor

  "George Lopez". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 2002-2007.

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• You go into this survival instinct mode, when you feel like your life is in jeopardy. I found myself in the bathroom with my taser, which I have 10 of, my panic button and my cell phone. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever had in my life

  Emma Roberts

  Cells, Phones, Survival

  Source: collider.com

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• It's a hard thing to hold a civil conversation after recalling that one party has used a Taser on the other, so both of them finished the walk in silence.

  Maggie Stiefvater

  Party, Silence, Used

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• Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Sports, Morning

  "Dave Attell: Captain Miserable". Documentary, Comedy, December 08, 2007.

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• I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke

  Thom Yorke

  Dancing, Damage, Concerts

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• Read your work out loud. Don't give me that look. Read your work aloud. Don't argue. Don't fight. It will help. I promise. I promise. I guarantee it. If you find it didn't help you, lemme know. I will let you Taser me in the face. And by "me," I mean, some other guy who will be my stand-in. Probably some real estate agent or tollbooth attendant.

  Chuck Wendig

  Real, Writing, Mean

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• I am the neurological opposite of a psychopath, in that I feel anxious almost all the time. It must be great to not constantly feel like you’ve got someone living inside your face, shooting you with a mini Taser.

  Jon Ronson

  Opposites, Shooting, Faces

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• Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug) Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone who owns the biggest gun store in town? Of course I got plenty. I got enough Tasers to light up New York City AND Boston just for giggles. (Bubba)

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  New York, Gun, Light

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2016). “Chronicles of Nick”, p.202, St. Martin's Griffin

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• So this Zealot comes to my door, all glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think about God. So I tell him I killed God. I tracked God down like a rabid dog, hacked off his legs with a hedge trimmer, raped him with a corncob, and boiled off his corpse in an acid bath. So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my polyphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as "the soul." So I hit him. What would you do?

  Warren Ellis

  Dog, Eye, Thinking

  "Transmetropolitan. God Riding Shotgun (issue #6)". Comic book by Warren Ellis,

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