Stupid Jokes Quotes

• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

  Albert Einstein

  Funny, Hilarious, Education

  Albert Einstein (2015). “Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century”, p.32, St. Martin's Press

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• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

  Harlan Ellison

  Funny, Life, Stupid

  Harlan Ellison, Arnie Fenner (2011). “Bugf#ck: The Useless Wit & Wisdom of Harlan Ellison”

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• Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

  Alan Dundes

  Inspirational, Funny, Christmas

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• If they invent a car that runs on stupid jokes, you could go far.

  Haruki Murakami

  Running, Stupid, Car

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• I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

  Chelsea Handler

  Stupid, Jokes

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• All humour is critical, you know? You make stupid jokes. I mean, stupidity is an infirmity, isn't it?

  John Cleese

  Stupid, Mean, Humour

  "Interview: John Cleese and Eric Idle, founding members of Monty Python". Interview with Tony Jones, www.abc.net.au. February 18, 2016.

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• It's just if one person says anything it becomes click bait and then they start talking about the comedy climate which is hilarious, so no. You know what it is? People are adults and they know they're at a comedy show but every once in a while somebody isn't an adult and then for some reason, you know, it's lazy reporting. They're trying to create this thing that isn't happening. It's not like people go in there and are just sitting with laptops open getting ready to blog about every stupid joke.

  Bill Burr

  Stupid, Talking, People

  Source: www.smudailycampus.com

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• There were plenty of times some writers would make some kind of stupid joke to each other and then it was on TV that night or that week.

  Jon Glaser

  Stupid, Night, Tvs

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• All day my mind drifts off into fantasies and little stupid jokes.

  Jean-Pierre Jeunet

  Stupid, Mind, Littles

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• You don't make stupid jokes in art.

  Martin Kippenberger

  Art, Stupid, Jokes

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• I realised that all one really had to do was just observe. Observe and slightly exaggerate, and you had comedy. Instead of creating a mythical premise for a stupid joke, I found playing off truth got the best result.

  Mel Brooks

  Stupid, Creating, Comedy

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• It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humored and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.

  Nick Hornby

  Stupid, Ejaculation, People

  Nick Hornby (1996). “High Fidelity”, p.183, Penguin

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• I said it, just like that. No stupid jokes, no changing the subject. For once, I wasn't embarrassed, because it was the truth. I had fallen. I think I had always been falling. And she might as well know, if she didn't already, because there was no going back now. Not for me.

  Kami Garcia

  Stupid, Fall, Thinking

  "Beautiful Creatures". Book by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, books.google.ru. December 1, 2009.

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• I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

  Bernie Mac

  Stupid, Shoes, Voice

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• My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great meals. I do not believe mankind will ever develop a formula to explain this.

  Joel Klein

  Funny, Nice, Stupid

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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