Political Humor Quotes

• Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Life, Change

  Will Rogers, Bryan B. Sterling (1988). “The Will Rogers scrapbook”, Random House Value Publishing

  114 Copy quote

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• One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

  Plato

  Plato, War, Government

  290 Copy quote

• Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

  Doug Larson

  Change, Keys, Cities

  76 Copy quote
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  Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

  Groucho Marx

  Art, Freedom, Political Will

  231 Copy quote

• Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

  Plato

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  249 Copy quote

• A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

  Edward Abbey

  Inspirational, Country, Freedom

  Edward Abbey (2015). “A Voice Crying in the Wilderness”, p.17, RosettaBooks

  95 Copy quote

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  The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Trust, Witty

  Winston S. Churchill (2013). “Churchill By Himself”, p.1079, RosettaBooks

  432 Copy quote

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• The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.

  Mark Twain

  Laughter, Political, United States

  Mark Twain (2016). “Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated)”, p.58, BIG BYTE BOOKS

  14 Copy quote

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• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

  Abraham Lincoln

  Funny, Witty, Powerful

  72 Copy quote

• Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Albert B. Paine, Mark Twain: A Biography (1912)

  542 Copy quote

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• The gift of truth excels all other gifts.

  Gautama Buddha

  Buddhist, Truth, Philosophy

  22 Copy quote

• Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

  John F. Kennedy

  Mom, Mother, Growing Up

  John F. Kennedy, Dominique Enright (2003). “The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy”, Michael O'Mara Books

  14 Copy quote

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• Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.

  Alexei Sayle

  Funny, Stupid, President

  19 Copy quote

• I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Money, Stupid

  Ronald Reagan's joke at the Gridiron Club annual dinner, March 24, 1984.

  10 Copy quote

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• One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

  Dan Quayle

  Witty, Responsibility, Political

  43 Copy quote

• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

  Dwight D. Eisenhower

  Funny, Witty, Truth

  27 Copy quote

• The budget caps were busted, mightily so. And we are reviewing with people like Judd Gregg from New Hampshire and others some budgetary reform measures that will reinstate - you know, possibly reinstate budgetary discipline. But the caps no longer - the caps, I guess they're there. But they didn't mean much.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Mean, Discipline

  5 Copy quote

• They have miscalculated me as a leader.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Leader, Political

  www.theguardian.com. September 13, 2000.

  4 Copy quote

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• It's going to require numerous IRA agents.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Ira

  "Bush, in his own words" by Jacob Weisberg, www.theguardian.com. November 3, 2000.

  4 Copy quote

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• Let me put it to you this way, I am not a revengeful person.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Political, Sixteen

  24 Copy quote

• I understand religion is a walk, it's a journey. And I fully recognize that I'm a sinner, just like you.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Journey, Political

  4 Copy quote

• We should - we will - welcome people of faith into the political process... It is essential that believers enter the arena. Your involvement in politics helps determine how well our democracy works. We have finally learned that government programs cannot solve our problems. Government can hand out money, but government cannot put hope in our hearts or a sense of purpose in our lives.

  George W. Bush

  Heart, Humor, Government

  4 Copy quote

• As I mentioned we have arrested or detained over 1,000 people here in America to determine to find out what they know.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, America, People

  4 Copy quote

• We do not prescribe any prayer; we welcome all prayer.

  George W. Bush

  Prayer, Humor, Political

  Transcript of National Prayer Breakfast at the Senate, www.congress.gov. November 14, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

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• It has sustained me in moments of success and in moments of disappointment. Without it, I'd be a different person. And without it, I doubt I'd be here today.

  George W. Bush

  Disappointment, Humor, Political

  Speech at Annual National Prayer Breakfast, www.cnn.com. February 1, 2001.

  4 Copy quote

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