New Girlfriend Quotes

• You can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face.

  Malcolm Gladwell

  Space, Faces, Hours

  6 Copy quote

• Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.

  Robert Harling

  Tattoo, Girlfriend, Magnolias

  "Steel Magnolias". m.imdb.com. 1989.

  16 Copy quote

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• My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Upset, Cry

  264 Copy quote

• Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car keys." And then I just think of different ways the story could end. "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. The trick is just to write a ton of jokes.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Girlfriend, Dad, Writing

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik: “He’s The Best!” -Everybody". Interview With David Dean, www.serialoptimist.com. November 29, 2010.

  40 Copy quote

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• Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after that, everybody. Every woman in here got intimidated by a guy, pushed around too much, now you're new boyfriend tickles you a little too hard, boom restraining order. Every guy here had a woman sleep with his best friend, now your new girlfriend hugs your cousin a little long, boom car bomb.

  Christopher Titus

  Girlfriend, Cousin, Sex

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  20 Copy quote

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• Anyone who has ever scanned the bookshelves of a new girlfriend or boyfriend- or peeked inside his or her medicine cabinet- understands this implicitly; you can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face.

  Malcolm Gladwell

  Girlfriend, Medicine, Space

  10 Copy quote

• Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend.

  Phil Ochs

  Girlfriend, America, Leaving

  Liner notes for compilation album "The Broadside Tapes 1" by Phil Ochs, 1989.

  8 Copy quote

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• Otrera stayed dead the second time," Kinzie said, batting her eyes. "We have to thank you for that. If you ever need a new girlfriend...well, I think you'd look great in an iron collar and an orange jumpsuit." Percy couldn't tell if she was kidding or not. He politely thanked her and changed seats.

  Rick Riordan

  Girlfriend, Eye, Thinking

  4 Copy quote

• A new club is like having a new girlfriend – you don't have feelings straight away

  Michael Owen

  Girlfriend, Feelings, Clubs

  5 Copy quote

• She's gone. Been gone for ages. They split up right after you left. That's why the grass out front started growing again." "He's got a new girlfriend?" she said quietly. "Thank god. You must be happy." "Yeah. He does. It's a relief. She's a lot nicer. But then, your average angry snake is nicer than Fiona. I'm sure she's happier wherever she is now, burning orphans or whatever she does with her time.

  Maureen Johnson

  Girlfriend, Average, Snakes

  Maureen Johnson (2011). “The Last Little Blue Envelope”, p.14, Harper Collins

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• My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn". Every now and then I screw up, I call my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name, and she can tell because I don't say "n" as long.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Girlfriend, Humor

  9 Copy quote

• I am a spiritual person in an eastern religion kind of way. I learned that happiness for all of us is a switch that you flick in your brain. It doesn't have anything to do with getting a new house, a new car, a new girlfriend, or a new pair of shoes. Our culture is very much about that; we are never happy with what we have today.

  Tom Ford

  Spiritual, Girlfriend, Shoes

  4 Copy quote

• Learn, he says, that there will be hours, days and months ahead of feeling absolutely terrible and nothing can change that; neither new girlfriends, health professionals, changes of diet, dope, humility, or God.

  Charles Bukowski

  Girlfriend, Humility, Dope

  5 Copy quote