Gags Quotes

• Sometimes you have to gag on fancy before you can appreciate plain.

  Jan Karon

  Appreciate, Simplicity, Fancy

  Jan Karon (2011). “Jan Karons Mitford Years: The First Five Novels”, p.224, Penguin

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• The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.

  Bill Watterson

  Special, World, Admire

  Source: bob.bigw.org

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• It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?

  Alan Moore

  Dc Comics, Laughing, Sides

  "Batman: The Killing Joke". Comic book by Alan Moore, 1988.

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• If the gag is complicated, you spend more time thinking about the way you’re drawing it.

  Sergio Aragones

  Thinking, Drawing, Way

  "Ask Sergio". sergioaragones.com.

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• The U.S. intelligence community is palsied by lawyers. When we were going to capture Osama bin Laden, for example, the lawyers were more concerned with bin Laden's safety and his comfort than they were with the officers charged with capturing him. We had to build an ergonomically designed chair to put him in, special comfort in terms of how he was shackled into the chair. They even worried about what kind of tape to gag him with so it wouldn't irritate his beard. The lawyers are the bane of the intelligence community.

  Michael Scheuer

  Safety, Community, Special

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• I do not favor the gag order.

  Nancy Grace

  Order, Favors

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• ...I will not be a sight gag for anybody. I will not do anything degrading to myself or other fat people.

  Darlene Cates

  Sight, People, Acting

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• In a 22-page comic, figuring an average of four to five panels a page and a couple of full-page shots, a writer has maybe a hundred panels at most to tell a story, so every panel he wastes conveying a.) something I already know, b.) something that's a cute gag but does nothing to reveal plot or character, or c.) something I don't need to know is a demonstration of lousy craft.

  Mark Waid

  Cute, Couple, Book

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• If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.

  George W. Bush

  Humor, Order, Political

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When I was very young and first worked in Hollywood, the films had bred in me one sole ambition: to get away from them; to live inthe great world outside movies; to meet people who created their own situations through living them; who ad-libbed their own dialogue; whose jokes were not the contrivance of some gag writer.

  Anita Loos

  Ambition, People, Hollywood

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• In the name of religious freedom, relativists have banished religion from the public square. They say they have to destroy public displays of religion in order to protect it. They response has been a culturewide gag order on Christianity in governmental and even commercial circumstances.

  Robert H. Knight

  Christian, Religious, Squares

  Robert H. Knight (1998). “The Age of Consent: The Rise of Relativism and the Corruption of Popular Culture”, Spence Pub

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• The character and the actor in a long-running series slowly become one. I think there must be funny stories about actors who, in the pilot for a TV series, did some weird thing with their eyes, or some speech impediment or something, and the next thing you know, it's eight years later, and they're still doing that freaking gag.

  William H. Macy

  Running, Character, Eye

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• Money is a terrible blab; she will betray the secrets of her owner, whatever he do to gag her. His virtues will creep out in her whisper; his vices she will cry aloud at the top of her tongue.

  Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

  Money, Secret, Vices

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• But a public oration is an escapade, a non-committal, an apology, a gag, and not a communication, not a speech, not a man.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Communication, Apology, Men

  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1851). “Essays, lectures and orations”, p.71

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• I've been known to slum it and shop in the gag-him-and-bag-him aisles, believe it or not.

  Tammara Webber

  Believe, Real Talk, Bags

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• Then why was his tongue in your mouth? Was he conducting a clinical test of your gag reflex?" He smiled, but not nicely. "How is your gag reflex, Ms. Lane? Are you a hair trigger?" Barrons likes to use sexual innuendo to try to shut me up. I think he expects the well-raised southern belle in me will think eew and back off. Sometimes, I do think eew, but I don't back off. "I'm a spitter, if that's what you're asking." I flashed him a too-sweet smile. "Didn't look that way to me. I think you're a swallower. His tongue was halfway to China and you were still taking it." "Jealous?

  Karen Marie Moning

  Sweet, Jealous, Thinking

  Karen Marie Moning (2011). “Faefever”, p.76, Hachette UK

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• I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

  Arthur Smith

  Brain, Trying, Students

  "Culture" by Arthur Smith, www.theguardian.com. October 17, 2001.

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• What he brought out was a wooden gag they put in someone's mouth before doing something drastic, like cutting off a leg.

  Megan Whalen Turner

  Cutting, Mouths, Legs

  Megan Whalen Turner (2017). “World of the Queen's Thief Collection: The Thief, The Queen of Attolia, The King of Attolia, A Conspiracy of Kings, Thick as Thieves”, p.18, HarperCollins

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• I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

  David Mamet

  Guy, Asks

  "David Mamet’s Election Season". Interview with Boris Kachka, nymag.com. January 10, 2008.

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• Gags die, humor doesn't.

  Jack Benny

  Death, Humor, Dies

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Whenever I catch a chunk of an Adam Sandler comedy on cable, it looks as badly shot and goofily tossed off as a Jerry Lewis gag reel once he hit the late downslide with 'Hardly Working' and 'Cracking Up.'

  James Wolcott

  Looks, Comedy, Adam

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• If we can but tear the blindfold of self-deception from our eyes and loosen the gag of self-denial from our voices, we can restore our country to greatness.

  Theodore C. Sorensen

  Country, Eye, Greatness

  "Congressional Record, V. 150, PT. 13, July 22, 2004 to September 14, 2004". Book published by Government Printing Office, p. 18022, 2009.

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• It [death] chokes you, gags you, but you have to pretend that you're doing just fine, not trembling with this fear because the end is close.

  Ellen Hopkins

  Choke, Ends, Trembling

  Ellen Hopkins (2008). “Impulse”, p.586, Simon and Schuster

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• I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point, I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.

  Charlie Sheen

  Past, Doors, Order

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• The strangest thing. I came to the end of other people so quickly. Each new person was like a glass of water, and at the beginning I was parched, but then each glass tasted a little worse, the water was grittier, and by the end even the first sip was enough to make me gag, you know?

  Arthur Phillips

  Glasses, Water, People

  Arthur Phillips (2010). “The Song is You”, p.254, Gerald Duckworth & Co

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