Funny Commencement Quotes

• I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

  Fred Allen

  Graduation, Education, Laughter

  84 Copy quote

• To be nobody-but-yourself - in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.

  e. e. cummings

  Inspirational, Motivational, Graduation

  "A Miscellany (A Poet's Advice to Students)". Book by E. E. Cummings edited by George James Firmage, 1958.

  148 Copy quote

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• Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.

  B. F. Skinner

  Graduation, Education, Teacher

  New Scientist 21 May 1964

  266 Copy quote

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• Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.

  Ralph Waldo Emerson

  Inspirational, Life, Success

  103 Copy quote

• Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

  Henry Ford

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  137 Copy quote

• The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows.

  Sydney J. Harris

  Graduation, Education, Wall

  Sydney J. Harris (1985). “Pieces of Eight Pa”, Mariner Books

  170 Copy quote

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• The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match. Each one of you is a fuse.

  Ed Koch

  Success, Graduation, Education

  84 Copy quote

• Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

  Oscar Wilde

  Graduation, Education, Time

  Epigrams: Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young Sebastian Melmoth

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  Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

  Robert Louis Stevenson

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  433 Copy quote

• You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

  Dr. Seuss

  Life, Graduation, Confidence

  Theodor Seuss Geisel, “Oh, The Places You'll Go”

  153 Copy quote

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  Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

  Judy Garland

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  "Business Etiquette for the Nineties: Your Ticket to Career Success". Book by Lou Kennedy, 1992.

  157 Copy quote

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• To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say, well done. And to the C students, I say, you too can be president of the United States.

  George W. Bush

  Funny, Graduation, Humor

  "Bad results?" by Nikki Sheehan, www.theguardian.com. June 11, 2001.

  88 Copy quote

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• A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

  Francis Bacon

  Inspirational, Success, Graduation

  1625 Essays, no.52,'Of Ceremonies and Respects'.

  59 Copy quote

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• If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

  Derek Bok

  Inspirational, Funny, Graduation

  Attributed in Paul Dickson, The Official Rules (1978). An earlier occurrence, without attribution to any individual, was in Wash. Post, 6 Oct. 1975.

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• You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.

  Tom Brokaw

  Motivational, Graduation, Education

  43 Copy quote
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  Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.

  John Wooden

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  "The Wizard's wisdom: 'Woodenisms'", www.espn.com. June 4, 2010.

  87 Copy quote

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• A classical education enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.

  Russell Green

  Graduation, Work, Wealth

  8 Copy quote

• Nothing worth knowing can be taught.

  Oscar Wilde

  Graduation, Knowing, Taught

  30 Copy quote

• You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure.

  Zig Ziglar

  Motivational, Attitude, Failure

  101 Copy quote

• Harry taught me that death isn't the end, it's the beginning.

  Jennifer Love Hewitt

  Graduation, Senior, College

  "Dexter: Popping Cherry". TV series, 2006.

  8 Copy quote

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• People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often.

  Bill Cosby

  Graduation, People, Use

  7 Copy quote
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  Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life.

  Steve Jobs

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  Commencement Address at Stanford University, delivered 12 June 2005, Palo Alto, CA

  221 Copy quote

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• You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

  Dr. Seuss

  Graduation, Being Single, Self Confidence

  Dr. Seuss (2017). “Oh, The Places You’ll Go”, p.7, HarperCollins UK

  66 Copy quote

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• At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards.My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.

  Paul A. Freund

  Cute, Graduation, Squares

  79 Copy quote

• If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.

  Robert F. Goheen

  Graduation, Education, Learning

  1961 Baccalaureate address. Reported in Time magazine, 23 Jun.

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