Funny Chocolate Quotes

• Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.

  Dave Barry

  Yummy, Hands, Years

  Dave Barry (2011). “Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down”, p.60, Ballantine Books

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• Chocolate says "I'm sorry" so much better than words.

  Rachel Vincent

  Forgiveness, Im Sorry, Apology

  44 Copy quote

• All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Love, Funny, Valentines Day

  270 Copy quote

• Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment.

  Jill Shalvis

  Yummy, Chocolate, Needs

  Jill Shalvis (2015). “Lucky Harbor Collection 2: Lucky In Love, At Last, Forever And A Day”, p.116, Hachette UK

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• What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.

  Katharine Hepburn

  Yummy, Chocolate, Lifetime

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• I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

  Lora Brody

  Giving Up, Yummy, Chocolate

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• Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.

  Lora Brody

  Yummy, Feelings, Chocolate

  45 Copy quote

• Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.

  Judith Viorst

  Inspirational, Strength, Food

  59 Copy quote

• Other things are just food. But chocolate's chocolate.

  Patrick Skene Catling

  Chocolate

  Patrick Skene Catling (2013). “The Chocolate Touch”, p.20, Harper Collins

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• When we don't have the words chocolate can speak volumes.

  Joan Bauer

  Chocolate, Speak, Volume

  Joan Bauer (2005). “Backwater”, p.53, Penguin

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• Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Fitness, Dirty, Food

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• The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and Shakespeare...neither knew chocolate.

  Sandra Boynton

  Greek, Chocolate, Tragedy

  36 Copy quote

• Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.

  Jo Brand

  Food, Weight Loss, Chocolate

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• In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.

  Salman Rushdie

  Chocolate, Cookies, Chips

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• My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."

  Winston Groom

  Life, Motivational, Movie

  "Fictional character: Forrest Gump". "Forrest Gump", www.imdb.com. 1994.

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• Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

  Matt Lauer

  Funny, Marijuana, Two

  "The hard shell" by Richard Johnson, www.theguardian.com. August 26, 2006.

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• After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate.

  Mel Gibson

  Funny, Inspiring, Anniversary

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• My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Fitness

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• Coffee and chocolate-the inventor of mocha should be sainted.

  Cherise Sinclair

  Coffee, Chocolate, Mocha

  28 Copy quote

• You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

  George Carlin

  Feelings, Chocolate, Bars

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• The 12-step chocolate program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!

  Terry Moore

  Food, Yummy, Chocolate

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• When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.

  Erma Bombeck

  Naps, Tough Times, Chocolate

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• Look, there's no metaphysics on earth but chocolates.

  Fernando Pessoa

  Love, Halloween, Food

  "Poems of Fernando Pessoa".

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• I never do any television without chocolate. That's my motto and I live by it. Quite often I write the scripts and I make sure there are chocolate scenes. Actually I'm a bit of a chocolate tart and will eat anything. It's amazing I'm so slim.

  Dawn French

  Writing, Chocolate, Slim

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• As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate.

  Sandra Boynton

  Fun, Memories, Women

  "Chocolate: The Consuming Passion". Book by Sandra Boynton, 1982.

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