Funny Birthday Quotes - Page 3

• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Birthday, Humor

  "Happy Birthday to You" by Don Meyer, Ph.D., www.huffingtonpost.com. October 1, 2013.

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• Your True Nature Is Love. There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

  Byron Katie

  Sister, Daughter, Brother

  84 Copy quote

• Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

  C. E. M. Joad

  Birthday, Wine, Turning 50

  17 Copy quote

• Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Birthday, Time

  13 Copy quote

• Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Jack Benny

  Funny, Happy Birthday, Elderly

  New York Times, 1974.

  55 Copy quote

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• Time and tide wait for no man.

  Geoffrey Chaucer

  Inspirational, Birthday, Time

  85 Copy quote

• There is still no cure for the common birthday.

  John Glenn

  Happy Birthday, Friends, Death

  "Ohio's Sen. Glenn Won't Run Again In 1998" by Candy Crowley, www.cnn.com.

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• The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

  Herbert V. Prochnow

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  Herbert V. Prochnow (1994). “1000 Stories and Illustrations for All Occasions”, Baker Publishing Group

  34 Copy quote

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• The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

  Johnny Carson

  Birthday, Christmas, People

  "Late-Night TV Icon Johnny Carson Dies", abcnews.go.com. January 23, 2005.

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• Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it.

  Natalie Imbruglia

  Sister, Letting Go, Brother

  Song: Don't You Think?, Album: Left of the Middle, 1997

  85 Copy quote

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• If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

  Euripides

  Birthday, Mistake, Knowledge

  12 Copy quote

• Today you are you! That is truer than true!

  Dr. Seuss

  Happy Birthday, Monday, Self Esteem

  "Happy Birthday to You!". Book by Dr. Seuss, 1959.

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• Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

  Ogden Nash

  Relationship, Marriage, Funny Love

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  54 Copy quote

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• Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come.

  Lucy Larcom

  Inspirational, Happy Birthday, Regret

  LUCY LARCOM (1869). “POEMS”, p.179

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• The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men more.

  Colleen McCullough

  Birthday, Appreciation, Women

  "Write to the Heart : Wit & Wisdom Of Women Writers". Book by Amber Coverdale Sumrall, 1992.

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• One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Happy Birthday, Truth, Real

  'A Woman of No Importance' (1893) act 1

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• Live as long as you may, the first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

  Robert Southey

  Years, Long, Cynical

  'The Doctor' (1812) ch. 130

  21 Copy quote

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• A birthday is just another day where you go to work and people give you love. Age is just a state of mind, and you are as old as you think you are. You have to count your blessings and be happy.

  Abhishek Bachchan

  Happy Birthday, Thinking, Blessing

  70 Copy quote
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  Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

  Truman Capote

  Life, Birthday, Humorous

  38 Copy quote