I have a fun time, doing the meet and greets, the pictures and the autographs. Every show I've ever done, lends itself to that kind of thing. My convention life has legs.
Oh, the most fun thing I've ever been asked to autograph was breasts.
Several children present me with scraps of paper for autographs: obviously don't know who I am and don't care. I sign "Jackie Collins" and they go away quite content.
If I'm signing autographs and I see one hundred people in a line I've got to remind myself, "That person is one one-hundredth of my day, but to them I'm their day." You know what I mean? Unless they meet J.Lo later on.
A presentation copy...is a copy of a book whoch does not sell, sent you by the author, with his foolish autograph at the beginning of it; for which, if a stranger, he only demands your friendship; if a brother author, he expects from you a book of yours, which does not sell, in return.
I get all these loser preps coming up to me asking for autographs and all this crap, and I really want to tell them, 'My music is not for people like you!
Seven years I worked at the Polish deli. It's a very slow deli. So I sat around a lot on my stool at the cashier. And I'd sign my autograph on all the bags I'd put the milk in. Just everyday, practice my autograph. And the manager of the store would take some of them and tape them against the wall. And he'd say, "Some day, I'm telling you, it will be worth something." And I'm like 13, going, "Really?!" And when I go back there, he still has them on the wall. It's very cute.
The first year was weird. I knew I was just there to talk to pitchers and not step on any toes. I could feel my adrenaline start to flow in about the sixth inning. I had to tell myself, "What the hell are you getting excited about? You're not going anywere, big boy. Just go sign some autographs." I was still programmed.
I have been sought out by a number of people who would have felt uncomfortable coming to a large public meditation. They don't want people to come up and ask for autographs.
I'll watch the kids play, have a big steak with my friends, stay in a nice hotel, sign a lot of autographs, then go back to Vegas and tell my alumni how tough recruiting is.
The first time an autograph hunter told me, 'You are my mother's favorite actress,' I aged twenty years.
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