I hold myself accountable for my contradictions. I deeply, deeply believe in the mystical laws. I know that every thought sends an eternity in motion. I mean, I know what I am capable of as a teacher; I know what I'm capable of because of my intelligence. But I also know that that's useless if - I have been humiliated so often, when I think that I can combat the terrors of life with intelligence. Because you can't. It'll bring you to your knees.