To feel the suffering and then to know the pain of the unnecessariness of it. That right there has me in its grip. The only way through that is serious prayer. I can't get through it any other way. I've got to believe that that's making a difference somehow. I can't see the difference, but I've got to believe it does, because in some way it lets me sleep at night. My only other alternative is to become angry, and I can't go that direction.