Only those who have earned leisure know how to use it profitably.
The cocktail party is easily the worst invention since castor oil
What is a bore? Maxwell definition: a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. How do you spot one? Bores are always anxious to be seen talking to you.
The loudest psalm singer in the congregation always is a reformed sinner.
[On the British Museum:] It was manifestly impossible to read all the books in that huge, gloomy structure, but I made a good try and accumulated a fund of useless information guaranteed to cast a pall over any dinner table.
People who have escaped from poverty are like old soldiers. In later years they recount the little, amusing incidents that happened infrequently, and conveniently forget the long, unrelieved stretches of misery and boredom.
don't try for wit. Settle for humor. You'll last longer.
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