I get half a million just to show up at parties. My life is, like, really, really fun.
Never drink diet soda. It shows you have no nerve. Only drink real colas, caffeine-packed energy drinks, or vitamin water. Hate champagne because that’s what everyone expects you to love. Energy drinks are the best party drinks. You never get tired, you never get a hangover, and you can make fun of all the loaded people who think they’re clever but are really acting stupid.
Whenever I'm hired to do appearances I always get to take one or two friends with me. I'm away so much I'd get lonely if I didn't. My BBF would get to go jet-setting with me to amazing parties too, like the ones on P Diddy's yacht. Apart from me, he throws the best parties they're so A-list.
At parties, everyone always thinks I'm drinking, but actually I rarely drink. I live on energy drinks, basically. I love vitamin water.
If I'll be a President the inaugural balls will be replaced with an inaugural Rock Band party. For expert-level players only. Don't even think about getting on drums. I play drums.
I don't like parties past 2 am. Then it's all losers and weirdos.
If I was a President I want to put an end to only large financial contributors, lobbyists, inside-the-Beltway fat cats, and corporate bigwigs getting to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom. I will keep that room open only for people for whom it is too late to drive after attending one of my secret-underground-bunker-after-hours parties.
I travel around the world constantly promoting my projects and endorsing products. Yes, I do get paid to go to parties; in fact, I'm the person who started the whole trend of paid appearances. But when you see me at a party, I'm always working or promoting something.
Having a nightclub in your house really helps for having a party, because then you don't need to go out.
For the past couple of years I was doing the party thing - going out a lot. But now I've turned 25, I feel I'm an adult.
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