A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.
If a woman walks with her head down - she has a lover! If a woman walks with her head proudly up - she has a lover! If a woman carries her head straight - she has a lover! And actually, if a woman has a head, she has a lover!
Optimism is lack of information.
Aging is tedious, but it is the only way to live long.
Women are, of course, more intelligent. Have you ever heard of a woman that would lose her head only because a man has pretty legs?
Family can replace everything. So, before starting a family, one should think what's more important: family or everything.
If a patient wants to live, doctors are impotent.
A fairytale is when you marry a frog and it turns out to be a princess. Reality is vice versa.
When you get married, you'll understand what happiness is. But then it will be too late.
God created women beautiful - so that men can love them - and stupid - so that they can love men.
You cannot cure sclerosis, but you can forget it.
Lesbians, homosexuals, masochism, sadism are not perversions. Actually, there are only two perversions: hockey on grass and ballet on ice.
Success is the only unforgivable sin against your neighbor.
Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing.
It has always been incomprehensible for me: people are ashamed of the poverty but aren't ashamed of the wealth.
I had enough brain to live a stupid life.
Health is when it hurts in a new place every day.
I've been smart enough to have lived my life stupidly.
My fortune is in the fact that I don't need it.
All my life I've swam in the loo butterfly style.
It is a shame to confess but among all living creatures only man doesn't know what is useful for him.
Like all people in love, I was obnoxious and stupid, threatened suicide...And the one I was supposed to make worry only giggled.
Old age is when you are not bothered with bad dreams, but with bad reality.
Spelling mistakes in a letter is like a bug on a white shirt.
Women critics are amazons in climax.
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