I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to.
I'm a soccer mom. I'm T-ball, soccer, karate, homework, keeping them on their schedules. I love being the snack mom, when I get to bring the cut oranges. I have one of those coolers with wheels. I'm at every game, every practice, sitting on my blanket. I love it.
I know my mom still wears lingerie and jumps out of closets to scare my dad. She's always joked that she tries to give him a heart attack so she can get his coin collection. But now she's actually worried that she might give him a heart attack. And the coin collection may not exist, so she's being gentler on him.
My mom has said she wished I were gay... I don't think she likes my taste in men.
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