I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?
If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.
One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings
We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.
He has the most who is most content with the least.
In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.
Of what use is a philosopher who doesn't hurt anybody's feelings?
People who talk well but do nothing are like musical intruments; the sound is all they have to offer.
It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.
We come into the world alone and we die alone. Why, in life, should we be any less alone?
No man is hurt but by himself. ...Literally by how he interprets what happens to him. If he focusses on how it could have been better, he will be hurt. If he focusses on how it could have been worse, he will be happy. The same is true for women too.
You will become a teacher of yourself when for the same things that you blame others, you also blame yourself.
Fools! You think of "god" as a sentient being. God is the word used to represent a force. This force created nothing, it just helps things along. It does not answer prayers, although it may make you think of a way to solve a problem. It has the power to influence you, but not decide for you.
The most beautiful thing in the world is freedom of speech.
Why not whip the teacher when the pupil misbehaves?
There is only a finger's difference between a wise man and a fool.
We are more curious about the meaning of dreams than about things we see when awake.
We have complicated every simple gift of the gods.
He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."
Self-taught poverty is a help toward philosophy, for the things which philosophy attempts to teach by reasoning, poverty forces us to practice.
A friend is one soul abiding in two bodies.
It takes a wise man to discover a wise man.
Other dogs bite only their enemies, whereas I bite also my friends in order to save them.
The mob is the mother of tyrants.
Antisthenes used to say that envious people were devoured by their own disposition, just as iron is by rust. Envy of others comes from comparing what they have with what the envious person has, rather than the envious person realising they have more than what they could have and certainly more than some others and being grateful. It is really just an inability to get a correct perspective on their lives.
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