Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability Nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff.
Once you have a handle on loving yourself, you can practice sharing that love with others. You’ve probably been taught to reserve the language of love for when you’re feeling overwhelmingly tender and passionate, and only for those who have made huge commitments to you. We recommend instead learning to recognize and acknowledge all the sweet feelings that make life worthwhile even when they don’t knock you over—and, moreover, learning to communicate those feelings to the people who inspire them.
The cultural ban on having sex with your friends is an inevitable offshoot of a societal belief that the only acceptable reason to have sex is to lead to a monogamous marriagelike relationship.
Do remember: your sexiness is about how you feel, not how you look.
Increasing your repertoire has the advantage that you don't have to give up enjoying what you already like: it is always easier to add new behaviors than to deny your deepest desires.
The real test of love is when a person—including you—can know your weaknesses, your stupidities and your smallnesses, and still love you.
Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.
One remedy for the fear of not being loved is to remember how good it feels to love someone. If you're feeling unloved and you want to feel better, go love someone, and see what happens.
Bottoms are alchemists who magically transform pain into sex.
It is cruel and insensitive to interpret an affair as a symptom of sickness in the relationship, as it leaves the 'cheated-on' partner - who may already be feeling insecure - to wonder what is wrong with him Many people have sex outside their primary relationships for reasons that have nothing to do with any inadequacy in their partner or in the relationship.
We believe that every relationship is unique unto itself, and thus even an attempt to think in types and forms is not going to express the essential truths of what happens when we love people.
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