Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.
If you manipulate, coerce, and bully your children, you will have no power at all. If you lead with humility, gentleness, and by example, you will need no power at all.
You do not have to make your children into wonderful people. You just have to remind them that they are wonderful people. If you do this consistently from the day they are born they will believe it easily.
How do children learn to correct their mistakes? By watching how you correct yours. How do children learn to overcome their failures? By watching how you overcome yours. How do children learn to treat themselves with forgiveness? By watching you forgive yourself.
Do you have agendas for your children that are more important than the children themselves? Lost in the shuffle of uniforms, practices, games, recitals, and performances can be the creative and joyful soul of your child. Watch and listen carefully. Do they have time to daydream? From their dreams will emerge the practices and activities that will make self-discipline as natural as breathing.
And part of growin’ up is learnin’ to see the world through other men’s eyes.
We are simply committing ourselves to paying attention to our life. We use meditation to help us in that attention process. We are not trying to become good meditators. We are trying to wake up.
A man will be known by his books.
Therefore, your mistakes and your failures are blessings; opportunities for the best in parenting. And those who point out your mistakes are not your enemies, but the most valuable of friends.
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Thomas Perry Novelist
