The virtue of losing is we get used to the fact that competing and to lose doesn't kill you. It just makes you stronger. It just helps you get used to it.
There was a culture that came out of the self-esteem movement which was don't anybody keep track of the goals. The kids keep track, but nobody keep track of the goals because we don't want the kids to have the experience of losing. And in depriving them losing, thinking it scarred them to lose, we made losing so taboo, so unspeakable, that we instead made losing more scary to kids, not less scary.
Women are very good at judging the risk and don't want to waste time with losing. So not that they're not as competitive, and certainly once they're in the race they're every bit as competitive, but they make that choice to compete in a more calculated way sensitive to the odds.
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