How long is it polite to continue to be interested in what someone says after they reveal they've got a boyfriend?
Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. "Igor, fetch 'the Crouch' from the catacombs, we're going to the graveyard".
Amy Winehouse - her surname's beginning to sound like a description of her liver.
If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia.
When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things.
On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.
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