I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.
I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced throughout the world for people like me.
Dad nods, looks me dead in the eyes; slowly and regretfully, he banishes all the smiling and joking from his face, and for once he's just my dad, watching his son who has fallen so low.
I wasn’t gifted. Mom was wrong. I was just smart and I worked hard. I had fooled myself into thinking that was something important to the rest of the world. Other people were complicit in this ruse. Nobody had told me I was common.
Every tounge bit had another word to say.
Things to do today: 1) Breathe in. 2) Breathe out.
I just want to not be me.
Time is a person-made concept.
I know a lot of famous people didn't do well at school, like James Brown; he dropped out in fifth grade to be an entertainer, I respect that... but that's not going to be me. I'm not going to be able to do anything but work as hard as possible all the time and compete with everyone I know all the time to make it.
That's worst than gonerreha, man!
You all right, man?' This should be my name. I could be like a super hero: You All Right Man. Ah...' I stumble. Don't bug Craig,' Ronny is like. 'He's in the Craig zone. He's Craig-ing out.
We wear our problems diffrently
How would you know? Everything’s like sex. It’s the universal metaphor. To pick a lock, let me guess, you have to go slow at first, but then you have to pull off some fancy moves, and you have to stay concentrated, and you have to stick something in something, right?
Putting lessons in young adult books is very dangerous.
A lot of the books that I grew up reading were pretty brutal, like the Redwall books.
They always said on TV you could do anything you wanted, but here I was trying to do something and it wasn't working. I would never be able to do it.
And that was the closest I've ever come to an epiphany.
If you can't get out of bed for long enough, people come and take your bed away
Is that the truth, Jimmy?" I ask without looking at him. "It's the truth and it come to ya!" I smile.
Yes, Doctor. I'll do what you say. I'll do what you all say.
its hard to talk when you want to kill yourself
Nobody had told me I was common.
Relationships change even more than people. It's like two people changing. It's exponentially more volatile. Especially two teenagers.
What am I always going to do? I'm going to go home and freak out.I'm going to sit with my family and try not to talk about myself and what's wrong. Im going to try and eat. Then I'm going to try and sleep. I dread it. I can't eat and I can't sleep. I'm not doing well in terms of being a functional human, you know?
I'm going to be here until I'm cured?" "Life is not cured, Mr. Gilner. Life is managed".
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