It's not like I'm sitting at home coming up with some secret beauty plan. I try to eat fruit and be healthy. If I'm feeling a bit sickly, I usually get a good spray tan.
The drinking was getting way out of control. I just didn't recognize myself anymore. I didn't know what I was doing or where I was. I always had to have some drinks with me in my bag. Just waking up shaking and then having Bloody Marys on your own, first thing in the morning-I started to feel really pathetic about it. So I was like, "I can't live like this." It was just this really awful feeling of becoming a totally different person and not being able to control it at all. Then I tried to not drink, but that didn't work. So I figured I should just go to rehab.
I kind of feel a bit insecure about things. At fashion parties, I do feel like people are kind of watching me and I get so shy, and I think, Oh, if only I could have a drink now. But then that feeling disappears - it actually disappears pretty quickly. I remember how happy I am that I don't drink anymore. I think about all the bad times I had when I was drunk. I messed up so many things. I don't want to do that anymore.
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