I have to take some time to dream some new dreams. I feel like there's a treasure hunt in front of me. A treasure hunt that is speckled with and seeded by a deep-rooted wild freedom.
I don't have the luxury of not going to work when I don't feel up to it. Most people don't. On those days, I acknowledge I am feeling f-cking crappy, and I'm not at my best, and I still want to or need to keep walking forward. I have to do some of my best work on my worst days. I have to look pretty even when I don't feel pretty. There's a way to hold both things.
Self-care of all kinds is a huge part of my life. I really encourage other women and other people to really put self-care - and that includes the beauty regime, how you eat, all of that - into your body.
I sometimes think to myself, you're not going to meet a new friend of any kind at home in front of the TV with your DVR. As much as it's great, and there are so many good shows on TV, and I have great books that I'm reading, get out and interact with people.
My generation is one of the first generations of "choiceful" women - women who have actually had the choice of how they architect their lives - and I don't think shame should have any place in that. But as that generation, you get cuts and bruises.
Getting to a place where I am comfortable saying things was hard-earned for me. I've chewed on the ground glass of my own experience. I saw Gloria Steinem speak, and I was just like, Shut the front door. She was saying that she didn't come into her own until her 40s, and she was asking herself the question, Why should she have to get married? And I just thank God someone asked that question, right? I think we're the first generation of women asking ourselves certain questions and deciding for ourselves.
I like to choose compassion over judgment and curiosity over fear.
I think our culture promotes fear and shame.
I've always been a curious thinker. And now, as an adult, I can articulate it.
Why am I beating my hair up? Because I want it to look like something that it isn't? These are questions that I've been pondering my whole life.
I wanted Bow's hair and makeup and clothing to look like a woman who has four children, a career, and a full life. For example, she won't wear eyeshadow unless she's going out. Because it takes a lot of time to put eyeshadow on. She's a woman who has style, but it's all about functionality - she grabs stuff from her closet.
Someone asked me recently, "Do you get sick of people asking you about your hair?" And the reason I don't is because I actually feel like you could chronicle my journey of self-acceptance through my journey with my hair. It's a badge of something bigger.
This woman [Bow] was not simply a reflection of who her husband was. She was her own whole self. And even if we weren't exploring life through her eyes, when we did see her it was clear that she had a full life.
The two things that I thought were really interesting about this character [Bow] for me were that she actually loved her husband, and he loved her. The comedy was not coming from the fact that they hated each other. Which is what television couples are usually based on.
I felt like it was a courageous show [Black-ish] from the beginning. We are a black family - we're not a family that happens to be black. But the show is not even about us being black. The show is about us being a family. That is groundbreaking - on TV, the black characters either happen to be black or they're the "black character," where everything they say is about being black. I think that's the genius.
Somehow [Kenya Bariss] has figured out how to explore these very weighty, sticky, sharp topics, and still be funny and not make fun of the topic.
I doubted Black-ish , and I'll tell you why. Because it doesn't matter if a writer wrote it for you. He could've written it with you in mind. But TV is a collaborative art. It involves producers, networks, studios, and many people signing off on you. And a lot of times there are deals in place - actors with studios that they're looking for shows for.
You might be someone's favorite, but you might not be someone else's favorite. I will tell you that there was a [casting notice] that said "Tracee Ellis Ross type," but [the producers] didn't want to see me. I've been in this industry long enough to know that even if someone wants to promise me something, it doesn't mean that it's going to happen. There are so many things at play. But it was flattering and exciting.
[Black-ish creator] Kenya Bariss wrote on Girlfriends. We've been friendly since then. He sent me [the pilot] and said, "I wrote it for you." But I know what that means in this industry.
I was recently watching Rihanna on the Billboard awards, and I was like, My God, she's incredible! And then I looked up her age [28]. She's always been talented. She's always been a star. But when you see her, she's becoming herself. It's age that happens. That's what I respond to.
After college, I shot a pilot for a show on Lifetime, which was basically House of Style for a TV lover. I think I got paid $1,500, and I was like, "Mom, I'm moving out! I made it!" I did two seasons of that, but I felt like a talking head and wanted to do more.
I was cast in a movie [originally] called Mr. Spreckman's Boat, starring Marcia Gay Harden and Jennifer Connelly. I felt like an "actress." Both of them have won Oscars - maybe that means I might one day.
And it [acting] was exciting to me. And scary.
One of the photographers was like, "Can you stop talking and try to look sexy for a minute?"
Sometime in my second year at Brown [University], I took an acting class. And the lightbulb went off for me. I fell in love with it. I realized that everything I was afraid of about myself, all my fears, could be used in that world.
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