God wants you to be delivered from what you have done and from what has been done to you - Both are equally imporant to Him.
I was in my late thirties when my eyes were opened to truth in God's Word that showed me I wasn't living the abundant life Jesus died for me to have. I had a very negative mindset and was miserable most of the time because of the abuse I had experienced throughout my childhood.
After years of abuse, it was difficult for me to understand God's love. It took me years to truly understand it.
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