Demetri Martin Quotes About Home

Quotes about: Home

• I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed

  Demetri Martin

  Home, Machines, Speed

• For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.

  Demetri Martin

  Summer, Home, School

  "Demetri Martin On 'Taking Woodstock'". "All Things Considered" with Guy Raz, www.npr.org. August 15, 2009.

• I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Home, Humor

• A mobile home with a flat tire is a home.

  Demetri Martin

  Home, Tire, Flats

• Now I got a time machine at home. It only goes foreword at regular speed. It's essentially a cardboard box and on the outside I wrote time machine in sharpie.

  Demetri Martin

  Home, Machines, Speed

• I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

  Demetri Martin

  Home, Next, Train

  FaceBook post by Demetri Martin from Mar 20, 2013

• Surprise parties are strange 'cause people jump up and they yell the word, 'surprise' at the party. I came home and you emerged from my furniture. You don't have to tell me how to feel. I don't need a hint.

  Demetri Martin

  Party, Home, People

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