If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their suit.
Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing that for years. They’re called campaign promises.
We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?
In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.
Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you've got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and bad toupees.
If politicians all told the truth, we'd be out of business.
John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both a lawyer and a politician.
Howard Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off their clothes now.
I love all these politicians, they all say the same thing - 'We'll give California back to the people.' Yeah, great, now that it's not worth anything, they want to give it back to us.
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