Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England".
When President Chirac gave [President] Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower... Bush said 'This is great! A little oil rig!'
The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can postpone our next invasion of a Middle Eastern country for two to three years.
As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's about gasoline.
According to a survey in this week's Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House.
It's fun when you're driving, and people wave at you, and you wave back. I think you either like people or you don't. I mean, I don't want to put on sunglasses. That's why I'm in show business.
I saw something stupid in the paper today - a new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those... it's called a window.
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
Know what the Taliban leaders like to do for fun? Just sit around and get bombed.
Valentines day are coming up and a German company has made chokolate in shapes of couples making love. I don't like them... I don't want my chokolate to have more fun than me.
Today, you get better performance from a Ford Focus than a Ferrari from the mid-70s. [The Focus] is just as fast and with better fuel economy. It's fun to see supercar technology trickle down to everyday cars.
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