LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.
DELUGE, n. A notable first experiment in baptism which washed away the sins (and sinners) of the world.
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.
YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.
Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.
HYDRA, n. A kind of animal that the ancients catalogued under many heads.
Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.
Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
True, man does not know woman. But neither does woman.
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
URBANITY, n. The kind of civility that urban observers ascribe to dwellers in all cities but New York. Its commonest expression is heard in the words, "I beg your pardon," and it is not consistent with disregard of the rights of others.
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.
A lottery is a tax on stupidity.
Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else
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