Vines Quotes - Page 2

I had begun to think my ripening body would wither untasted on the vine.

Jacqueline Carey

Thinking, Body, Ripening

Jacqueline Carey (2011). “Kushiel's Dart”, p.96, Pan Macmillan

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I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

Tommy Cooper

Funny, Dog, Humor

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So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Oysters

"Comedy preview" by Wiliam Cook, www.theguardian.com. April 28, 2005.

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He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books".

Tommy Cooper

Funny, Book, Humor

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I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Doctors

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So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Men

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So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

Tim Vine

Funny, Stars, Humor

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I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Lazy

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By making this wine known to the public, I have rendered my country as great a service as if I had enabled it to pay back the national debt.

Thomas Jefferson

Country, Food, Wine

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So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Tommy Cooper

Funny, Humor, House

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You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Doors

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Where are the feasts we were promised? Where is the wine, the new wine, dying on the vine.

Jim Morrison

Wine, Dying

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God made a beauteous garden With lovely flowers strown, But one straight, narrow pathway That was not overgrown. And to this beauteous garden He brought mankind to live, And said "To you, my children, These lovely flowers I give. Prune ye my vines and fig trees, With care my flowers tend, But keep the pathway open Your home is at the end." God's Garden

Robert Frost

Children, Flower, Home

Robert Frost (1992). “Selected Poems”, Gramercy

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Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Filing Cabinet

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Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine.

William Shakespeare

Art, Husband, Wedlock

William Shakespeare (1867). “The Works of William Shakespeare”, p.98

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To happy convents, bosomed deep in vines,
Where slumber abbots, purple as their wines.

Alexander Pope

Wine, Purple, Slumber

Alexander Pope, Pat Rogers (2008). “The Major Works”, p.533, Oxford University Press

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This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."

Tim Vine

Funny, Humor, Pieces

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Man, like the generous vine, supported lives; the strength he gains is from the embrace he gives.

Alexander Pope

Men, Giving, Society

Alexander Pope (2012). “Essay on Man and Other Poems”, p.68, Courier Corporation

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Happiness and depression cannot blossom on the same vine. Some people affirm their woes and beg for sympathy. Others, unfortunately, cast gloom wherever they go. These poor souls were born sick and tired.

Louis Sullivan

Depression, Tired, People

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Tell you what I like the best -
'Long about knee-deep in June,
'Bout the time strawberries melts
On the vine, - some afternoon
Like to jes' git out and rest,
And not work at nothin' else!

James Whitcomb Riley

Summer, June, Long

James Whitcomb Riley (1982). “The Best of James Whitcomb Riley”, p.121, Indiana University Press

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Of all trees, I observe God hath chosen the vine, a low plant that creeps upon the helpful wall; of all beasts, the soft and patient lamb; of all fowls, the mild and guileless dove. Christ is the rose of the field, and the lily of the valley. When God appeared to Moses, it was not in the lofty cedar nor the sturdy oak nor the spreading palm; but in a bush, a humble, slender, abject shrub; as if He would, by these elections, check the conceited arrogance of man.

Owen Feltham

Wall, Humble, Humility

"Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers". Book by Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert, 1895.

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The record of a generous life runs like a vine around the memory of our dead, and every sweet unselfish act is now a perfumed flower.

Robert Green Ingersoll

Running, Sweet, Memories

Robert Green Ingersoll (1912). “Some Mistakes of Moses”, p.245, Library of Alexandria

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And the lesson was this; sit in the sun, head down, within a prickly vine, in a flickery light, or open light, and the world will come to you. The sky will come in its time, bringing rain, and the earth will rise through you, from beneath, and make you rich and make you full.

Ray Bradbury

Rain, Light, Sky

Ray Bradbury (2008). “Summer Morning, Summer Night”, Subterranean

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Our goal is not to assume leadership of existing institutions, but rather to render them irrelevant. We don't want to take over the state or change its policies. We want to render its laws unenforceable. We don't want to take over corporations and make them more 'socially responsible.' We want to build a counter-economy of open-source information, neighborhood garage manufacturing, permaculture, encrypted currency and mutual banks, leaving the corporations to die on the vine along with the state. We do not hope to reform the existing order. We intend to serve as its grave-diggers.

Kevin Carson

Change, Order, Law

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And time cast forth my mortal creature To drift or drown upon the seas Acquainted with the salt adventure Of tides that never touch the shores. - I who was rich was made the richer By sipping at the the vine of days.

Dylan Thomas

Adventure, Sea, Salt

Dylan Thomas, Daniel Jones (2003). “The Poems of Dylan Thomas”, p.79, New Directions Publishing

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