Old Age Humor Quotes - Page 2

• By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

  Bill Vaughan

  Funny, Witty, Elderly

  27 Copy quote

• Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.

  Robert Benchley

  Funny, Sarcastic, Retirement

  17 Copy quote

• Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man.

  Leon Trotsky

  Inspirational, Men, Old Things

  Diary in Exile (1959) 8 May 1935

  26 Copy quote

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• People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

  George Burns

  Birthday, Retirement, People

  61 Copy quote

• The older I grow, the more I find myself alone.

  Alberto Giacometti

  Solitude, Listening, Age

  22 Copy quote

• When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

  George Burns

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  George Burns (1986). “Dear George: advice & answers from America's leading expert on everything from A to B”, G K Hall & Co

  110 Copy quote

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• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  625 Copy quote

• Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

  Victor Hugo

  Birthday, Health, Medicine

  50 Copy quote

• As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

  Norman Wisdom

  Funny, Birthday, Memories

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  1560 Copy quote

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• A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'

  Claude Pepper

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

  75 Copy quote