There are times when I will dress up, like tonight for the premiere, but there are times when it doesn't matter. It's not that I think it's fake, but I'm not going to go out of my way to be something that I'm not.
Some people say the things I do are annoying because I'm intentionally trying too hard to be relatable, but I'm really not. It's never really been my intention; I've never gone out of my way to be relatable to anyone. I just say what I want, and I'm pretty blunt about things.
I've had so many life expriences and those experiences create you little by little. You're never going to be the same person you were yesterday, right? I've definitely gone through some traumatic things that really changed my way of seeing.
I don't have a long, drawn-out Joan Crawford beauty routine. I'm not like, "Yes, I wake up and first I put ice on my face." I do it in a taxi on my way to a meeting. Traveling is my makeup routine. I do it in a car ride, and I'm that asshole on the road who's doing her mascara in the mirror.
Realism is a philosophy as opposed to a style. For me, painting is about observing and recording my existence as accurately as I can, it's my way of understanding the world around me and staying constantly engaged with it, the more carefully and patiently I look at what interests me in the world the more faithfully and honestly I can document it. It is only through intense, subtly nuanced observation that we develop an understanding of the psychology of the subject.
I'm sort of socially inept, so music is my way to connect to people. It's a means of socializing and having a life. Otherwise I wouldn't bother. I would just make home recordings and play them for myself. And that's not really healthy.
There was a time in my life when opportunities were so few and far between they were like little cracks in the wall, and if one opportunity came my way, I would scratch and claw and bite and I would do anything I could to make sure that I grabbed that opportunity by the throat and I did not let it go.
The way I go about making a movie... even the ones that are interview-driven, I go into them not knowing what's going to happen, and feeling my way through.
I looked to many, many filmmakers. I was influenced by the Neo-Realists, and by the Cuban, and the Latin American cinema, the '70s, European experimental work. And fortunately, all those influences gave me the strength to think, "I can make my way. I'm a creative person, I can try to create a way that is uniquely mine because I've seen so much, and I've experienced so much."
In terms of music, each novel is different but I usually find my way into an era through the music. In this novel the New People, I listened to a lot of 90s hip-hop, which was just so genius. Also, all the musical references in the book from the Peoples Temple one and only album to Luther Vandross.
Once you are in that ring things happen that you don't expect. There is nothing you can plan for. At the end of the day, you've just got to go in there and feel the guy's spirit. You've got to listen to him breathe, look into his eyes, feel his power and feel his speed. You can't think too much. It is instinctive. It is on-the-fly. But at the same time I go in there and I think it doesn't matter what this guy does, I'm going to have my way. In whatever situation we end up, I am always going to come out on top. That is the one thing that is the same for every single fight.
Now I've come to such a mixed culture: America, Europe, South America, Africa. And the politics are changing everywhere all the time and becoming even more unpredictable. There's no such thing as "fixed" culture. China is also becoming more global. Its problems are becoming international problems, becoming German problems, becoming American problems. Nothing is clear-cut. Perhaps I'll find my way - or get totally lost.
All of my plays have puzzled some people, and I'm happy to say delighted a few, but a lot of people have just not seen how quite to look at them. And this film... if you like my writing, you'll like this film. If you don't, you won't like the film. It's pretty faithful to - it's a pretty uncompromising presentation of my way of seeing things, I suppose.
There's nothing worse than an anxiety-filled, fearful actor who just needs that next job, because they're not gonna get that next job. Any time I got a job that made me feel good about myself, or made me feel, "Hey, I'm working my way up," then good adds to good. Because it makes you feel better about yourself, and that makes you more attractive, I think.
I sometimes think about that, when I finish in something big I find it even hard, I feel like I lose an actual noticeable percentage of my reading time. Even on the reader end I find it so hard when a book that I love so much ends, to find the kindness to enter into a new one. Do you know what I'm saying? To find my way in, I feel like even there's that space after. I just love inhabiting a book that hits right.
Honestly, I don't go out of my way to see animated movies. I'm mostly influenced by.. the films I tend to like are the small films, small personal stories. With characters you can believe.
Eventually, out of sheer will of never wanting to get a job or go to college, I found my way into doing music full-time.
I've always been able to fake my way into confidence. Sometimes I put my own fears aside to make sure I'm being of service to others. To clarify - hell yes, it was brave of me to step out in my lingerie for the commercial compaign, not because I'm plus-sized, but because I'm a human being. People get it confused. I'm brave because I'm not afraid of what people are going to say about me. It's not an easy thing to do, but it is something that I will always challenge myself to do. I don't want to be held back by my body because someone tells me I should.
I think I'm known as a liberal democrat and Hispanic and a practicing Catholic, but I never really went out of my way specifically to play a president or any kind of leader.
Music feels like therapy, actually. A lot of people come out of a therapy session and feel like a weight has been lifted - I got it out, I cried, I feel good. I think for me this is just my way of doing that. It's the only avenue I have that fulfills that, that makes me feel good about myself. And I don't mean that in regards to the rewards, or like getting some good review. That's not what it's about. It's more about trying to please myself. It's really sick and weird.
That's really the essence of what any fiction writer does. Some of it is research-based, but most of it is a really long-term, imaginative, empathetic effort to see the world the way someone whose experiences remote from yours might see it. Not every writer works that way; some writers make a wonderful career out of writing books that adhere very closely to how they view the world. The further I go with this, the more interested I get in trying to imagine my way into other perspectives that at first seem foreign to me.
I do like ensemble work. I would like to do a lead role, though. I didn't shy away from that. I'm desperately looking for a lead role to do in a film, an independent film, and it just hasn't come my way yet. I'm desperately looking for that role that will put me in a lead category. Or a television series.
I made some shorts that I'm not in. I think because I write so many short stories, it's not that hard to come up with characters that are not me. But my way into making movies has been through performing. My very first short film, I played a child and her own mother. So in some ways, to me, my great achievement so far is just that I've gotten all these other people to play the other parts. That's what makes it a real movie.
So many people giving you so many opinions about how you look. It's hard for me to gauge what people are sometimes getting at. This brings up my suspicious side. I feel you just have to be confident with yourself. I feel topics like, "Oh, she looks beautiful today" or "She looks a mess today without her makeup"-that's always going to come my way, so I just think it's all about self-confidence.
I can't let things go when it comes to stop painting. It has to be my way.
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