Funny Basketball Quotes

• I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Funny, Basketball, Dog

  87 Copy quote

• I never thought I'd lead the NBA in rebounding, but I got a lot of help from my team-mates - they did a lot of missing.

  Moses Malone

  Basketball, Team, Nba

  30 Copy quote
• 

  The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

  Charles Barkley

  Basketball, Differences, Shots

  Charles Barkley (2009). “Sir Charles: The Wit and Wisdom of Charles Barkley”, p.27, Hachette UK

  22 Copy quote

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• In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan. Of course, he would be only 12 years old.

  Jerry Sloan

  Funny, Basketball, Years

  18 Copy quote

• After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points.

  Stacey King

  Funny, Basketball, Night

  20 Copy quote

• The idea is not to block every shot. The idea is to make your opponent believe that you might block every shot.

  Bill Russell

  Basketball, Motivational Sports, Block

  101 Copy quote

• Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they're afraid they might get hit by a pass.

  George Raveling

  Inspirational, Basketball, Fall

  46 Copy quote

• They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Basketball, Morning, Hot

  71 Copy quote

• Basketball doesn't build character it reveals it.

  James Naismith

  Basketball, Character, Inspirational Basketball

  89 Copy quote

• Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious.

  Charles Shackleford

  Funny, Basketball, Sports

  15 Copy quote

• If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing.

  Charles Barkley

  Basketball, Girl, Hard Work

  "Dear diary: More Chuck, less gimmicks" by Bill Simmons, www.espn.com.

  6 Copy quote

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• I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.

  Kurt Rambis

  Funny, Basketball, Multiple Choice

  25 Copy quote

• If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love were on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs, even if they were coming in fuzzy.

  Bobby Knight

  Basketball, Nba, Making Love

  81 Copy quote

• I try to penetrate the lane like Steve Nash, pass like Jason Kidd, and handle the ball like Allen Iverson. Remember, I said 'try to'.

  Chris Paul

  Sports, Perseverance, Inspirational Basketball

  Interview with Jon Robinson, www.ign.com. November 3, 2005.

  62 Copy quote

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• We're shooting 100 percent - 60 percent from the field and 40 percent from the free-throw line.

  Norm Stewart

  Inspirational, Basketball, Shooting

  8 Copy quote

• The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy.

  Jerry Tarkanian

  Basketball, Sports, Teamwork

  60 Copy quote

• These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it.

  Charles Barkley

  Basketball, Sports, Shoes

  73 Copy quote

• When I dunk, I put something on it. I want the ball to hit the floor before I do.

  Darryl Dawkins

  Basketball, Sports, Balls

  56 Copy quote

• If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot.

  Dean Smith

  Inspirational, Funny, Basketball

  71 Copy quote

• Good, Better, Best. Never let it rest. Until your Good is Better, and your Better is your Best.

  Unknown

  Inspirational, Motivational, Success

  "Dedication, Teamwork and Camaraderie: Tim Duncan" by Angela Guzman, www.beliefnet.com.

  926 Copy quote

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• When I was young, I never wanted to leave the court until I got things exactly correct. My dream was to become a pro.

  Larry Bird

  Inspirational, Basketball, Dream

  26 Copy quote

• I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Funny, Basketball, Money

  30 Copy quote

• I keep both eyes on my man. The basket hasn't moved on me yet.

  Julius Erving

  Basketball, Eye, Men

  51 Copy quote

• I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.

  Frank Layden

  Inspirational, Funny, Basketball

  23 Copy quote

• I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the thirty-eight years before that, either.

  Dave Barry

  Basketball, Past, Eight

  64 Copy quote