There are only four kinds of people in the world - those who have been caregivers, those who are caregivers, those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers.
To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.
Caregiving has no second agendas or hidden motives. The care is given from love for the joy of giving without expectation, no strings attached.
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him.
Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
Caregiving requires the intention of love, caretaking requires the intention of fear. Not acting in anger when you are angry requires the intention of love.
Caregiving often calls us to lean into love we didn't know possible.
Care work produces public goods, and should be supported in families by policies such as paid parental leave and caregiver tax credits, and by investments in good training and wages for caregiving, including early childhood education, in the market.
Thus, just as animals of many species, including man, are disposed to respond with fear to sudden movement or a marked change in level of sound or light because to do so has a survival value, so are many species, including man, disposed to respond to separation from a potentially caregiving figure and for the same reasons.
I'm sure there are people who can toggle quickly from all-in caregiving to structured socializing, but I can't think of any offhand.
Even in these tough economic times, Barack [Obama] has left the VA budget as is so that they're prepared to deal with this influx of men and women who are coming home and dealing with a whole array of issues, not just around mental health but just caregiving and the stresses of reconnecting with families who have been away from each other for a very long time.
As long as women and the "feminine" such as caring and caregiving are devalued, we cannot realistically expect more caring economic policies. Young people have a major role to play in creating a caring economics.
As girls are given dollies and pushchairs while little boys are frowned upon for picking them up; while men are 'congratulated' for occasionally 'babysitting' their own children and women are castigated for daring to combine motherhood and career; while baby changing facilities are provided in women's toilets but rarely in the men's, is it any wonder we tend to take on the roles society stereotypically pushes on us when it comes to caregiving?
Any insistence on equal pay is crucial and any redefinition of work to include caregiving work so that it also has an economic value, at least at replacement level, that's crucial. So change does come from the bottom up, and it will come from girls and women and men who understand that for us all to be human beings instead of being grouped by gender is good for them, too.
So you're getting squeezed at both sides. You're taking care of your mom and dad and you're still doing caregiving with your kids, which is not easy. But I think overall, there's a level of satisfaction that might be unparalleled.
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