It's a whole lot more productive to be in problem-solving mode than it is to be in behavior modification mode.
Over 18 years of us solving problems together, my daughter has shown me that she's got a good head on her shoulders, that she is pretty good at solving the problems that affect her life. If she wants my input, she gets it.
We never get to see that our kid is capable of solving problems on her own. We never start to build up the faith that they can actually do it.
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