I used to beat myself up everyday if I did not win an event. I am quite open about those things now and that has been a big change.
I'm really quite exhausted at the moment, but you never know, you are always surprised at what you can find sometimes, and maybe I will find something deep within to find the desire to swim fast
It took a lot of guts to change it and say 'I don't like the life that I'm living and I don't like the swimmer I am', so let's change it completely and say 'Look, I've got to learn to love myself'. And that's been a really hard thing to do because when you've done a performance that you're not proud of and the public and the media have criticized you.....people are really quick to make judgements so it was tough to say 'Well I don't care what you have to say. I'm going to do this for myself and if you don't like me after this, well then, it's too bad'.
Going into that race I was going for the world record, just quietly, but I wasn't feeling at my best all week so it was hard to determine what would happen. I could not believe it, I went into shock, I'm still in shock.
I don't think I'm unbeatable, nobody is
It's easy to forget when you're an elite athlete that everyone else gets nervous as well. Even the best people in the world, at whatever they do, they're still nervous
I can't control what everyone else swims but if all goes well I know there are no limits.
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