The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
MIND, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain. Its chief activity consists in the endeavour to ascertain its own nature, the futility of the attempt being due to the fact that it has nothing but itself to know itself with.
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.
Even the laws of justice themselves cannot subsist without mixture of injustice.
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
DISCUSSION, n. A method of confirming others in their errors.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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