Bruno Bettelheim Quotes - Page 2

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• Creativity stands at the center of all education.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Creativity

  11 Copy quote

• While criticism or fear of punishment may restrain us from doing wrong, it does not make us wish to do right. Disregarding this simple fact is the great error into which parents and educators fall when they rely on these negative means of correction. The only effective discipline is self-discipline, motivated by the inner desire to act meritoriously in order to do well in one's own eyes, according to one's own values, so that one may feel good about oneself may "have a good conscience.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Fall, Mean, Eye

  6 Copy quote

• The goal in raising one's child is to enable him, first, to discover who he wants to be, and then to become a person who can be satisfied with himself and his way of life. Eventually he ought to be able to do in his life whatever seems important, desirable, and worthwhile to him to do; to develop relations with other people that are constructive, satisfying, mutually enriching; and to bear up well under the stresses and hardships he will unavoidably encounter during his life.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Growing Up, Stress

  10 Copy quote

• The good enough parent, in addition to being convinced that whatever his child does, he does it because at that moment he is convinced this is the best he can do, will also ask himself: "What in the world would make me act as my child acts at this moment? And if I felt forced to act this way, what would make me feel better about it?

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Feel Better, Parent

  10 Copy quote

• You cannot have sex education without saying that sex is natural and that most people find it pleasurable.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Sex, People, Natural

  17 Copy quote

• What children learn from punishment is that might makes right. When they are old and strong enough, they will try to get their ownback; thus many children punish their parents by acting in ways distressing to them.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Strong, Children, Punishment

  10 Copy quote

• A child... who has learned from fairy stories to believe that what at first seemed a repulsive, threatening figure can magically change into a most helpful friend is ready to believe that a strange child whom he meets and fears may also be changed from a menace into a desirable companion.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Believe, Fairy Stories

  Bruno Bettelheim (1976). “The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales”, Vintage

  8 Copy quote

• The fear of failure is so great, it is no wonder that the desire to do right by one's children has led to a whole library of books offering advice on how to raise them

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Book, Offering

  8 Copy quote

• The child knows only that he engages in play because it is enjoyable. He isn't aware of his need to play--a need which has its source in the pressure of unsolved problems. Nor does he know that his pleasure in playing comes from a deep sense of well-being that is the direct result of feeling in control of things, in contrast to the rest of his life, which is managed by his parents or other adults.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Play, Parent

  4 Copy quote

• Not only is our love for our children sometimes tinged with annoyance, discouragement, and disappointment, the same is true for the love our children feel for us.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Love, Children, Disappointment

  Bruno Bettelheim (1988). “A Good Enough Parent: A Book on Child-rearing”, Vintage

  15 Copy quote

• As Anna Freud remarked, the toddler who wanders off into some other aisle, feels lost, and screams anxiously for his mother neversays "I got lost," but accusingly says "You lost me!" It is a rare mother who agrees that she lost him! she expects her child to stay with her; in her experience it is the child who has lost track of the mother, while in the child's experience it is the mother who has lost track of him. Each view is entirely correct from the perspective of the individual who holds it .

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Mother, Children, Views

  4 Copy quote

• Among the most valuable but least appreciated experiences parenthood can provide are the opportunities it offers for exploring, reliving, and resolving one's own childhood problems in the context of one's relation to one's child.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Opportunity, Childhood

  5 Copy quote

• From a child's play, we can gain understanding of how he sees and construes the world--what he would like it to be, what his concerns are, what problems are besetting him.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Play, Understanding

  4 Copy quote

• Since there are thousands of fairy tales, one may safely guess that there are probably equal numbers where the courage and determination of females rescue males, and vice versa.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Determination, Numbers, Female

  Bruno Bettelheim (1976). “The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales”, Knopf

  4 Copy quote

• A parent who from his own childhood experience is convinced of the value of fairy tales will have no difficulty in answering his child's questions; but an adult who thinks these tales are only a bunch of lies had better not try telling them; he won't be able to related them in a way which would enrich the child's life.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Lying, Thinking

  Bruno Bettelheim (1976). “The uses of enchantment: the meaning and importance of fairy tales”, Knopf

  4 Copy quote

• As the creative adult needs to toy with ideas, the child, to form his ideas, needs toys--and plenty of leisure and scope to play with them as he likes, and not just the way adults think proper. This is why he must be given this freedom for his play to be successful and truly serve him well.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Creativity, Successful

  5 Copy quote

• To be told that our child's behavior is "normal" offers little solace when our feelings are badly hurt, or when we worry that hisactions are harmful at the moment or may be injurious to his future. It does not help me as a parent nor lessen my worries when my child drives carelessly, even dangerously, if I am told that this is "normal" behavior for children of his age. I'd much prefer him to deviate from the norm and be a cautious driver!

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Hurt, Children, Worry

  4 Copy quote

• Most advice on child-rearing is sought in the hope that it will confirm our prior convictions. If the parent had wished to proceedin a certain way but was made insecure by opposing opinions of neighbors, friends, or relatives, then it gives him great comfort to find his ideas seconded by an expert.

  Bruno Bettelheim

  Children, Insecure, Ideas

  4 Copy quote

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