The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.
Sarcasm is the protest of the weak.
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
Automatic simply means that you can?t repair it yourself.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother?s.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
Why have computers? Politicians are far more calculating.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story
People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
In my opinion, I think sarcasm and humor in a song, without turning it into a novelty song, is really charming.
We have the best government that money can buy.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.
Neither irony nor sarcasm is argument.
I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: