Santa Quotes - Page 9

• Adults trying to protect children from reality, right? And adults always trying to fill children with fantasy - the tooth fairy, Santa, make-believe games, etc. But kids are really smart, I think they know from an early age about death, this void and hole they are immediately traveling toward.

  Shane Warren Jones

  Children, Smart, Believe

  Source: logger.believermag.com

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• This Christmas, every Christmas, Santa Claus is everywhere and Jesus is nowhere to be found.

  Paul Park

  Jesus, Christmas Eve, Found

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• Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money. A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check. I fondled it for about five minutes and then sent it back. I told her I couldn't accept money from strangers.

  Alan Abel

  Animal, California, Santa Barbara

  Source: www.esquire.com

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• On Christmas morning when I was a child, my mother would leave a book wrapped at the foot of the bed, which was a hint that Santa had come. It was also her way of keeping us in bed a little longer before we went downstairs. So I've always associated books with happiness and gifts. And they are. I can't get enough of them.

  David McCullough

  Mother, Morning, Children

  Source: www.bostonglobe.com

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• I tend to think that immortal souls, invisible sky daddies, and Santa Claus all belong in the same basket. The disposition of that basket is left as an exercise for the reader.

  Charles Stross

  Exercise, Thinking, Sky

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• I'm not a big fan of the tchotchkes. It always reminds me of a grandma's stuffy home with a million Santa dolls.

  Jeremiah Brent

  Grandma, Home, Fans

  The Inside Source Interview, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 13, 2011.

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• With big folks, either people think you look mean or it's more of a jolly Santa Claus, 'Oh, he's just a pudgy little teddy bear pillow.'

  The Notorious B.I.G.

  Mean, Thinking, People

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Luckily, I always travel with a book, just in case I have to wait on line for Santa, or some such inconvenience.

  David Levithan

  Book, Waiting, Lines

  Rachel Cohn, David Levithan (2010). “Dash & Lily's Book of Dares”, p.36, Knopf Books for Young Readers

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• Santa Claus has already been here and everything. Want to see what he brought for you?" "Is it a big present?" "Very big." "With a big red bow on it?

  Tina St. John

  Want, Red, Bows

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• I seriously doubt that the Santa police do an underwear check." -Cora

  Sarah Dessen

  Police, Doubt, Underwear

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• When I was a freshman in high school, I got a letterman jacket, which you'd think would be great stock. The jacket had the big S on it, for Santa Monica. But rather than having a football or a baseball on the S, I had a little nine iron. Girls thought it was a flute.

  Carson Daly

  Girl, Baseball, Football

  "Carson Daly: 'I'm Living Proof That the Good Guys Win'". Interview with Mickey Rapkin, www.elle.com. April 19, 2012.

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• It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities.

  H. L. Mencken

  Children, Men, Political

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.371, Knopf

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• Muggles have garden gnomes, too, you know," Harry told Ron as they crossed the lawn. "Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods.

  J. K. Rowling

  Garden, Thinking, Fishing

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• He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing out-of-uniform Santa.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Smile, Steps, Want

  Augusten Burroughs (2013). “Dry: A Memoir”, p.47, Macmillan

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• I was Santa Claus in first year of primary school, our elementarys school play, because I had most panache, that was probably why. I was 5.

  James Frecheville

  School, Years, Play

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• Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.

  Scott Dikkers

  Atheist, Lying, Believe

  Scott Dikkers (2009). “You Are Worthless: Depressing Nuggets of Wisdom Sure to Ruin Your Day”, p.170, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• Beginning with Santa in infancy, and ending with the Tooth Fairy as the child acquires adult teeth. Or, plainly put, beginning with all the possibility of childhood, and ending with an absolute trust in the national currency.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Children, Childhood, Adults

  Chuck Palahniuk (2011). “Rant: The Oral History of Buster Casey”, p.62, Random House

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• The idea of God as a fatherly figure who looks down on us and worries about how we're doing or takes sides when we have fights - it's more irritating than Santa Claus. The world and the universe are far more wonderful if there's not a puppet master.

  Dave Matthews

  Fighting, Ideas, Worry

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• What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they started pumping this bullshit into my head. I believed in Santa Claus and the Fairy Godmother, of course I believed in a virgin birth, and a guy lived in a whale, and a woman came from a rib. But then something happened that made me doubt all of it: I graduated sixth grade!

  Bill Maher

  Mean, Whales, Bullshit

  "Bill Maher: Victory Begins at Home". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

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• The Santa Anas blew in hot from the desert, shriveling the last of the spring grass into whiskers of pale straw. Only the oleanders thrived, their delicate poisonous blooms, their dagger green leaves. We could not sleep in the hot dry nights, my mother and I.

  Janet Fitch

  Mother, Spring, Sleep

  Janet Fitch (2013). “White Oleander”, p.7, Hachette UK

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• The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.

  David Sedaris

  Christmas, Years, Evening

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• The gift from my Secret Santa wasn't anything special. That makes me sad. I bet you anything that Mary Elizabeth is my Secret Santa because only she would give me socks.

  Stephen Chbosky

  Giving, Secret, Special

  Stephen Chbosky (2013). “The Perks of Being a Wallflower YA edition”, p.65, Simon and Schuster

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• It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.

  P. G. Wodehouse

  Hurt, Children, Giving Up

  P. G. Wodehouse (1994). “The Theatre Omnibus”, Hutchinson Radius

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• Radar threw his books into his locker and shut it. Then the din of conversation around us quieted just a bit as he turned his eyes toward the heavens and shouted, "IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT MY PARENTS OWN THE WORLD'S LARGEST COLLECTION OF BLACK SANTAS.

  John Green

  Book, Eye, Parent

  John Green (2013). “Paper Towns”, p.22, A&C Black

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• Besides, the mhis that surrounded the compound could scramble anything from GPS to Santa Claus.

  J.R. Ward

  Gps, Santa Claus, Compounds

  J.R. Ward (2012). “Lover Reborn: A Novel of the Black Dagger Brotherhood”, p.226, Penguin

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