Santa Claus Quotes - Page 7

• Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December 15th.

  Roy Blount, Jr.

  Thanksgiving, Children, Santa

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• Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

  Milton Berle

  Christmas, Suicide, Kids

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• No matter what, I always make it home for Christmas. I love to go to my Tennessee Mountain Home and invite all of my nieces and nephews and their spouses and kids and do what we all like to do - eat, laugh, trade presents and just enjoy each other... and sometimes I even dress up like Santa Claus!

  Dolly Parton

  Christmas, Niece, Home

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• We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but want and trying to persuade God you deserve it. Now I'm sorry, that's not God, that's Santa Claus.

  Harold S. Kushner

  God, Sorry, Prayer

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• Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and the different types of little things that you could get for Christmas. And all the people that would help you, they were dressed up in things that said 'I believe in Santa Claus.' And the only thing that I could think is that I believe in George Bush.

  Dan Quayle

  Believe, Thinking, People

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• Vlad had found himself longing to encounter those of his own kind, to travel to the streets of Elysia-that far away world, but after a while it seemed more of a fairy tale than anything else. Like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, only with fangs.

  Heather Brewer

  Encounters, Teeth, Elysium

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• If I ever saw magic on television I would say: 'I want that. That's what I want from Santa Claus'. So the cupboard in my bedroom was full of boxes of magic tricks, cups and balls, cards and foam rabbits, all sorts of stuff.

  Colin Morgan

  Magic, Saws, Cups

  "Merlin actor Colin Morgan is magic". www.mirror.co.uk. September 03, 2008.

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• Empathising with the younger children on whom the same confidence trick was being imposed, I embarked on a crusade around the neighbourhood, telling all the kids that there was no Santa Claus. This reached the ears of the father of a neighbouring family, who reproved me for spoiling it for the little ones. Spoiling it! I could not understand what he meant. To my mind, they were being made fools of, and I was only saving them from this indignity.

  Barbara Smoker

  Children, Father, Kids

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• In the years since his murder, we have transformed King into a kind of innocuous black Santa Claus.

  Timothy B. Tyson

  Kings, Years, Black

  Timothy B. Tyson (2007). “Blood Done Sign My Name: A True Story”, p.107, Broadway Books

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• ... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.

  Dave Barry

  Children, Humorous, Holiday

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• Growing up, Santa Claus would cover the presents with a white blanket, so when we'd wake up Christmas morning, we had to wait for my dad to do the big reveal of all the presents Santa brought.

  Martina McBride

  Morning, Growing Up, Dad

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• "The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently and as sternly as did Paul, John, Peter R.A. Torrey and others. This modern "santa claus" religion that is sweeping country today is not the religion Jesus taught and John practiced."

  Oliver B. Greene

  Country, Jesus, Religion

  Oliver B. Greene (2015). “The Revelation: Verse by Verse Study”, p.25, Ravenio Books

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• I have always tried to use humor to "help ever" and "hurt never," for I find that to laugh is like swallowing a secret that Santa Claus farted.

  David Cross

  Funny, Hurt, Humor

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• PEOPLE DIE.
  This is the fact the world desperately hides from us from birth. Long after you find out the truth about sex and Santa Claus, this other myth endures, this one about how you’ll always get rescued at the last second and if not, your death will at least mean something and there’ll be somebody there to hold your hand and cry over you. All of society is built to prop up that lie, the whole world a big, noisy puppet show meant to distract us from the fact that at the end, you’ll die, and you’ll probably be alone.

  David Wong

  Sex, Lying, Mean

  David Wong (2011). “John Dies at the End”, p.133, Titan Books

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• In the far corner, a tenor began to sing, Zsadist's crystal-clear voice sailing up toward the warrior paintings on the ceiling far, far above them all. At first John didn't know what the song was...although if he'd been asked what his name was, he would have said Santa Claus, or Luther Vandross, or Teddy Roosevelt. Maybe even Joan Collins.

  J.R. Ward

  Song, Warrior, Zsadist

  J.R. Ward (2011). “J.R. Ward The Black Dagger Brotherhood Novels 5-8”, p.2960, Penguin

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• You might be a redneck if Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Kids, Redneck, Lap

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “There's No Place Like (A Mobile) Home For The Holidays: A Redneck Christmas”, p.14, Thomas Nelson Inc

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• I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus!

  Edith Piaf

  Believe, Santa, Stills

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• The primary factor that enables our government to peddle economic snake oil is the dollar's unique role as the world's reserve currency, and our creditors' willingness to preserve its status. By buying up dollars and loaning them back to us through Treasury debt, productive countries give American politicians cart blanche to play Santa Claus.

  Peter Schiff

  Country, Unique, Play

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• I'm concerned about my daughter because she will not believe in Santa Claus. No matter what I say to her, she just doesn't buy it, and she's 2. I refuse to give it up. I say, 'There is a Santa Claus,' and she says, 'Okay, Mommy. In pretend world, right?' She really doesn't believe.

  Salma Hayek

  Daughter, Believe, Giving

  "Salma Hayek Interview GROWN UPS". Interview with Sara Wayland, collider.com. June 22, 2010.

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• If you look at Christmas movies, there are certain things in them that lend themselves to a 'Harold & Kumar' movie. In particular, the more out-of-this-world things like Santa Claus and flying reindeer.

  Unknown

  Flying, Reindeer

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• You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this holiday season, no Santa Claus. They're laying off department-store Santa Clauses. So more bad news for John McCain.

  David Letterman

  Holiday, Feelings, News

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• I remember being banned from other houses as a younger child during the winter holiday season; I was the only one who didn't believe in Santa Claus, and I was ruining everyone's Christmas.

  Jami Attenberg

  Children, Believe, Holiday

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• Prayer is not adult letters written to Santa Claus, and God is not some parent-like figure up in the sky who's going to take care of us.

  John Shelby Spong

  Prayer, Sky, Parent

  Source: mormon-chronicles.blogspot.com

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• I didn't grow up in church. I had no concept of God - existence, I - the name Jesus was synonymous with tooth fairy and Santa Claus.

  Paula White

  Jesus, Growing Up, Names

  Source: culteducation.com

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• I'd like [Santa Claus] to give Wes Anderson, the director, enough money in his next budget for an aerial shot - just a little copter shot. He really wanted this one helicopter shot, and Disney wouldn't give him the money. Just wouldn't give him the money. Every day, he was talking to the studio about this helicopter shot.

  Bill Murray

  Talking, Giving, Directors

  Source: www.esquire.com

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