Jerk Quotes - Page 9

• I was surrounded by jerks. I'm not kidding.

  J. D. Salinger

  J. D. SALINGER (1951). “THE CATCHER IN THE RYE”

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• One day she told me that they'd decided that my gender was divvied into two neat piles-Men and Guys. Basically, all the saints of the world: Men. The jerks, the players, the wet T-shirt contest aficionados? They were Guys.

  Gayle Forman

  Player, Men, Two

  Gayle Forman (2011). “Where She Went”, p.73, Penguin

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• I love the sound of a brand-new bottle of coke when you pry the lid off and it starts to fizz. Whenever I hear that sound, I think of roses, and of sitting together with someone you care about and of Romeo and Juliet waking up somewhere and saying to each other, weren't we jerks? And then having all that be over. That's what I think of when I hear the sound of a brand-new bottle of Coke being opened

  Gary D. Schmidt

  Thinking, Rose, Together

  Gary D. Schmidt (2007). “The Wednesday Wars”, p.153, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• He lifted the arm covering his eyes and turned his head to glare at her. "I knew you were trouble the first time I saw you."
  "What do you mean, trouble?" She sat up, glaring back at him. "I am not trouble! I'm a very nice person except when I have to deal with jerks!"
  "You're the worst kind of trouble," he snapped. "You're marrying trouble."

  Linda Howard

  Nice, Mean, Eye

  "Mr. Perfect". Book by Linda Howard, 2011.

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• Squatting on old bones and excrement and rusty iron, in a white blaze of heat, a panorama of naked idiots stretches to the horizon. Complete silence - their speech centres are destroyed - except for the crackle of sparks and the popping of singed flesh as they apply electrodes up and down the spine. White smoke of burning flesh hangs in the motionless air. A group of children have tied an idiot to a post with barbed wire and built a fire between his legs and stand watching with bestial curiosity as the flames lick his thighs. His flesh jerks in the fire with insect agony.

  William S. Burroughs

  Children, Air, Flames

  "Naked Lunch". Book by William S. Burroughs, 1959.

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• So what are we supposed to do again, when we hate everything? You stop pretending life is such fun or makes sense. It's often messy and cruel and dull, and we do the best we can. It's unfair, and jerks seem to win. But you fall in love with a few people. Like I love you, Elizabeth. You're the angel God sent me.

  Anne Lamott

  Falling In Love, Fun, Hate

  Anne Lamott (2010). “Imperfect Birds: A Novel”, p.14, Penguin

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• Advanced life-forms, my seweet patootie. Jerks. Both of them.

  James Patterson

  Form

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• Enough, both of you,' Clary said. 'You can't be complete jerks to each other forever, you know.' Technically,' said Simon, 'I can.' Jace made an inelegant noise; after a moment Clary realized that he was trying not to laugh, and only semi-succeeding.

  Cassandra Clare

  Laughing, Forever, Trying

  Cassandra Clare (2011). “Cassandra Clare: The Mortal Instrument Series (4 books): City of Bones; City of Ashes; City of Glass; City of Fallen Angels”, p.1275, Simon and Schuster

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• Let the jerks of the world serve as the perfect example of what you don't want to be. You'll be a heck of a lot happier, and in the long run, there's a chance that other person at work will end up asking what your secret is. Why are you the happy one? In other words, don't let your thoughts think you. Besides, if you're really gonna get pissed, don't waste it on your family, friends, or coworkers, save it for something that really matters.

  Willie Nelson

  Running, Thinking, Long

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• In minority communities there's a sensitivity, often a knee-jerk reaction, to critical representations. There's a misunderstanding of what an artist does.

  Junot Diaz

  Artist, Community, Doe

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• The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other.

  Julian Casablancas

  Hands, Annoying, British

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• Getting dragged, kicking and screaming out of the ring, begging for mercy from whomever it is that fires me, and never be seen again. That's how I wanna go out. Haha, yeah, I don't want any.. hero's goodbye, or a big send off. I don't want a retirement ceremony. That's not how I'm built, I just wanna disappear into the sunset and have people, 'Man, that guy was a jerk. Wow, I'm glad he's gone.'

  Chris Jericho

  Goodbye, Retirement, Hero

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• There are always going to be jerks in the world . . . [but] there are more good people on this earth than bad people, and the good people watch out for each other and take care of each other.

  R. J. Palacio

  People, Watches, World

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• Gratitude begins in our hearts and then dovetails into behavior. It almost always makes you willing to be of service, which is where the joy resides. It means that you are willing to stop being such a jerk. When you are aware of all that has been given to you, in your lifetime and the past few days, it is hard not to be humbled, and pleased to give back.

  Anne Lamott

  Gratitude, Mean, Heart

  "Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers". Book by Anne Lamott, November 13, 2012.

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• I'm not sure I'm okay with 2 guys gettin' married, but I don't wanna be a jerk about it.

  Lizz Winstead

  Guy, Married, Not Sure

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• What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit.

  Ryan Holiday

  Made, Explicit, Known

  Ryan Holiday (2012). “Trust Me, I'm Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator”, p.201, Penguin

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• Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.

  Don Van Vliet

  Nice, Smart, Thinking

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• We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.

  Brendon Urie

  Sarcastic, Real, Mean

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• There's something about a guy who admits he's a jerk that makes him forgiveable.

  Lisa McMann

  Guy

  Lisa McMann (2010). “Fade”, p.38, Simon and Schuster

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• I think something must happen to you when you get into eight grade. Like the Doug Swieteck's Brother Gene switches on and you become a jerk.
  Which may have been Hamlet, Prince of Denmark's problem, who, besides having a name that makes him sound like a breakfast special at Sunnyside Morning Restaurant--something between a ham slice and a three-egg omelet--didn't have the smarts to figure out that when someone takes the trouble to come back from beyond the grave to tell you that he's been murdered, it's probably behooveful to pay attention--which is the adjectival form.

  Gary D. Schmidt

  Morning, Brother, Smart

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• I've dated jerks, so why not geeks?

  Kelly LeBrock

  Why Not, Geek

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• On November 7, 2006, Cafferty called Donald Rumsfeld "an obnoxious jerk and war criminal".

  Jack Cafferty

  War, Criminals, November

  "Cafferty Shows His Love For Rumsfeld". Crooks & Liars, November 7, 2006.

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• The telephone is a great knee-jerk machine, but if you really want to tell someone how you feel, you need the slowness of the letter.  In a society where everything is fast, it's like going out in the country and looking up at the stars.

  Nick Bantock

  Country, Stars, Needs

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• They say for every light on Broadway there is a broken heart, an unrealized dream. And that’s the same in any profession. So you have to want it more than anyone else, and you have to be your own champion, be your own superstar, blaze your own path, say yes to opportunity, follow your instincts, be eager, and passionate, keep learning, nurture your real, lasting relationships, don’t be a jerk, and free your imagination so you can become all that you want to be.

  Sutton Foster

  Success, Broken Heart, Dream

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• 

  True success is figuring out your life and career so you never have to be around jerks.

  John Waters

  Careers, True Success

  John Waters (2010). “Role Models”, p.234, Macmillan

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