Computer Software Quotes

• There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.

  Alan Perlis

  Writing, Errors, Two

  "Epigrams on Programming". ACM "SIGPLAN" Notices 17 (9), (pp. 7-13), September 1982.

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  A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

  Emo Philips

  Funny, Motivational Sports, Humorous

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• You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time.

  Bertrand Meyer

  Technology, Quality, Computer

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• When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code.

  Richard E. Pattis

  Quality, Experts, Debugging

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• It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.

  Nathaniel Borenstein

  Writing, Baghdad, Ethics

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• Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

  Brian Kernighan

  Inspirational, Funny, Smart

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• Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

  Martin Fowler

  Inspirational, Funny, Humorous

  Jay Fields, Shane Harvie, Martin Fowler, Kent Beck (2009). “Refactoring: Ruby Edition”, p.36, Pearson Education

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• Premature optimization is the root of all evil.

  Donald Knuth

  Science, Roots, Evil

  Donald Ervin Knuth (1986). “TEX: The Program”, Addison-Wesley Professional

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• The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

  Nathaniel Borenstein

  Humorous, Learning, Agreement

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• It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.

  Alan Cooper

  Technology, Discipline, Example

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• There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone.

  Bjarne Stroustrup

  Technology, Wish, Stories

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• The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state.

  John Ousterhout

  Inspirational, Transition, Improvement

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• The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before.

  Bill Gates

  Computer, Problem, Born

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• It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.

  Alan Perlis

  Change, Vices, Computer

  "Epigrams on Programming". ACM SIGPLAN Notices 17 (9), pp. 7-13, pu.inf.uni-tuebingen.de. September 1982.

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• Testing by itself does not improve software quality. Test results are an indicator of quality, but in and of themselves, they don't improve it. Trying to improve software quality by increasing the amount of testing is like trying to lose weight by weighing yourself more often. What you eat before you step onto the scale determines how much you will weigh, and the software development techniques you use determine how many errors testing will find. If you want to lose weight, don't buy a new scale; change your diet. If you want to improve your software, don't test more; develop better.

  Steve McConnell

  Errors, Code Quality, Simplicity

  Steve McConnell (2004). “Code Complete”, p.501, Pearson Education

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• Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

  Pablo Picasso

  Funny, Witty, Technology

  Quoted inWilliam Fifield, In Search of Genius (1982)

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• I mean, if 10 years from now, when you are doing something quick and dirty, you suddenly visualize that I am looking over your shoulders and say to yourself "Dijkstra would not have liked this," well, that would be enough immortality for me.

  Edsger Dijkstra

  Dirty, Mean, Years

  "Introducing a course on calculi" by Edsger Dijkstra, August 30, 1995.

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• A great lathe operator commands several times the wage of an average lathe operator, but a great writer of software code is worth 10,000 times the price of an average software writer.

  Bill Gates

  Technology, Average, Computer

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• Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

  Andy Rooney

  Witty, Work, Technology

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• Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

  Donald Knuth

  Funny Inspirational, Reading, Following Instructions

  Donald Ervin Knuth (1984). “The texbook”, Addison-Wesley Professional

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• It's OK to figure out murder mysteries, but you shouldn't need to figure out code. You should be able to read it.

  Steve McConnell

  Murder Mysteries, Needs, Able

  Steve McConnell (2004). “Code Complete”, p.267, Pearson Education

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• Beauty is more important in computing than anywhere else in technology because software is so complicated. Beauty is the ultimate defense against complexity.

  David Gelernter

  Technology, Simplicity, Important

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• At first I hoped that such a technically unsound project would collapse but I soon realized it was doomed to success. Almost anything in software can be implemented, sold, and even used given enough determination. There is nothing a mere scientist can say that will stand against the flood of a hundred million dollars. But there is one quality that cannot be purchased in this way - and that is reliability. The price of reliability is the pursuit of the utmost simplicity. It is a price which the very rich find most hard to pay.

  Tony Hoare

  Determination, Learning, Code Quality

  "The Emperor's Old Clothes". Communications of the ACM 24, dl.acm.org. February 1981.

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• Optimism is an occupational hazard of programming; feedback is the treatment.

  Kent Beck

  Technology, Optimism, Hazards

  Kent Beck (2000). “Extreme Programming Explained: Embrace Change”, p.31, Addison-Wesley Professional

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• There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

  Tony Hoare

  Witty, Humorous, Simple

  "The Emperor's Old Clothes". Communications of the ACM 24 (2), (pp. 75-83), February 1981.

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