Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men; too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
A sportsman is a man who, every now and then, simply has to get out and kill something.
Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.
The great man... walks across his century and leaves the marks of his feet all over it, ripping out the dates on his goloshes as he passes.
Any man will admit if need be that his sight is not good, or that he cannot swim or shoots badly with a rifle, but to touch upon his sense of humour is to give him mortal affront.
It was Einstein who made the real trouble. He announced in 1905 that there was no such thing as absolute rest. After that there never was.
On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.
Presently I shall be introduced as 'this venerable old gentleman' and the axe will fall when they raise me to the degree of 'grand old man'. That means on our continent any one with snow-white hair who has kept out of jail till eighty.
Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
Any two meals at a boarding-house are together less than two square meals.
All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.
What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
Indeed I have always found that the only thing in regard to Toronto which faraway people know for certain is that McGill University is in it.
A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.
You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.
A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: