I was shy as a child. Now I'm not really shy any more, unless I'm with shy people. I find it contagious and I don't know what to say. But I don't think shyness is something one should feel apologetic about.
Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
I took a fortnight off. But I'm not a great believer in breaks. I don't want to be rattling around inside my own head. I did feel I was spiralling into a Kathy Burke character and tried going out, but I prefer it here. Filming keeps me busy. It absorbs me.
I'm not someone who's endlessly patient and wonderful.
Statistically, people who have been happily married and then widowed tend to remarry.
I wasn't good with authority, went to lots of schools, didn't like the fact that there was no autonomy.
I was a quiet teenager, introverted, full of angst.
There is a kind of euphoria of grief, a degree of madness.
And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up.
I know the crew so well, so I forget I'm being filmed. It's like cooking with a friend in the kitchen - you're talking, as you do, and maybe you're telling her about this wonderful way to prepare lamb chops - it's more natural, more honest.
In England and America people tend to graze all day long, but I think it's such a waste to be constantly picking at food because you then can't enjoy a proper full meal when the time comes.
The thing I liked about writing about food when I started it was that I felt I was writing about food in a different way. Not like a food writer.
It sounds like something on a very trite T-shirt, but life is what happens.
On the whole, I prefer Christmas as an adult than I did as a child.
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