Mallory Ortberg Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• Bad dental hygiene can lead to respiratory infections and an increased risk for heart disease and strokes.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Heart, Hygiene, Risk

  "For Name's Sake". Live Chat, www.slate.com. January 20, 2016.

  12 Copy quote

• If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."

  Mallory Ortberg

  People, Problem, Potluck

  "Open Shut Case". Live chat, www.slate.com. December 22, 2015.

  16 Copy quote

• Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Order, People, Giving

  "Permission Slip". Live Chat, www.slate.com. January 4, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• To stop challenging someone from using anti-gay language simply because they persist in using anti-gay language strikes me as a defeatist approach.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Gay, Challenges, Language

  "Die, Bundle of Twigs!" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. January 5, 2016.

  18 Copy quote

• Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Kids, Knows, I Can

  "Gone From the Chapel". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 22, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Successful, Order, Hygiene

  "Gone From the Chapel". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 22, 2016.

  10 Copy quote

• If you get a dog, take care of your dog! You can just not have a dog if you don't feel like taking care of one, it's very easy to not have a dog.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Dog, Care, Easy

  "Do It for the Kids". Chat live with readers, www.slate.com. December 21, 2015.

  5 Copy quote

• I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sex, Thinking, Requirements

  "Zero". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 15, 2016.

  6 Copy quote

• It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

  Mallory Ortberg

  Return, Rudeness, Tempting

  "Do It for the Kids". Live chat, www.slate.com. December 21, 2015.

  19 Copy quote

• If someone you know is diagnosed with cancer, give them a call or send them a letter to tell them how sorry you are and to let them know how much you care.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Sorry, Cancer, Giving

  "Do It for the Kids". Live chat, www.slate.com. December 21, 2015.

  4 Copy quote

• You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Children, Grandparent, Closeness

  "Permission Slip". Live Chat, www.slate.com. January 4, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• The mere idea of asking a family member if they intentionally stopped sending me an annual bonus makes me feel like breaking out in hives.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Ideas, Asking, Bonus

  "Telltale Hurt" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 1, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• Anyone who thinks it’s funny to name their network "Tom’sHugeEtc" is going to think it’s funny that one of his neighbors is also named Tom and is embarrassed by it.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Thinking, Names, Neighbor

  "I Think She's in Love" by Daniel Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 2, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Firsts, Facts, Realizing

  "For Name's Sake" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. January 20, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, "Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us." Only you can help fight ghosting.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Nice, Fighting, Thinking

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• If and when you do decide to share your experience with your husband, it should be because you feel ready to do so, not for any other reason.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Husband, Ifs And, Reason

  "Telltale Hurt". Live Chat, www.slate.com. February 1, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Recovery, Addiction, Needs

  "Telltale Hurt" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 1, 2016.

  5 Copy quote

• If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, "Please don't touch me" should get them to stop.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Permission, Should, Stepping Back

  "Die, Bundle of Twigs!". Live chat, www.slate.com. January 5, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• Don't let a friend make you feel publicly uncomfortable indefinitely just because they're probably a lesbian.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Uncomfortable, Feels

  "I Think She's in Love" by Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. February 2, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Hate, Men, Thinking

  "Gone From the Chapel". "Dear Prudence" with Mallory Ortberg, www.slate.com. March 22, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm of the opinion that it is always a kind and appropriate decision to get in touch with someone who's lost a loved one to remind them that you're thinking of them and have fond memories of the deceased.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Memories, Thinking, Decision

  "Gone From the Chapel". Live chat, www.slate.com. March 22, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• It's so difficult to figure out how to offer support and also be honest with someone you love who's in a damaging relationship without making them feel defensive and retreating even further into isolation.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Support, Honest, Isolation

  "Fostering a Future". "Dear Prudence", slate.com. January 8, 2018.

  4 Copy quote

• Knowledge of death is the beginning of wisdom.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

• Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Giving, Kidneys, Dies

  "Even if It Kills Me". Live chat, www.slate.com. March 16, 2016.

  4 Copy quote

• A child is not a bargaining chip or a learning tool. Your focus, if you adopt a child of a different race, should be on nurturing and protecting your child from bigotry, not deploying him or her as an anti-racist Mr. Fix-It.

  Mallory Ortberg

  Children, Race, Focus

  Source: www.slate.com

  4 Copy quote

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